Things That Make You Go @#$&% and ?!?!
October 7, 2015
I have some excellent news for the good citizens of Nashville and the estimated six million tourists who visit Music City annually: It is once again safe to not only walk our streets, but also to cross them without expectation or fear of getting hit by a car, beaten senseless, or both.
Thanks to some diligent detective work by Nashville Metro Police, tips to Nashville Crime Stoppers and not least of all, a social media outcry from industry friends of noted record producer Dave Brainard (Jerrod Niemann, Brandy Clark, Jamey Johnson), two married monsters by the name of Dustin Carl Hargrove and Nichole M. Hargrove were apprehended for allegedly assaulting Brainard and a friend in the wee hours of Sunday, September 27th.
From what we've heard and read, as Brainard and Deborah Deloach were crossing Demonbreun Street (don't even attempt to pronounce it) near Music Row that morning, Mr. Hargrove struck Deloach with his luxury Infinity automobile -- and kept moving into Deloach.
Of course, I wasn't there, but I'm only guessing that Brainard, or Deloach, or both of them, had the audacity to protest being struck by a car which then kept on moving after the fact. Feeling righteously indignant and possibly fueled by a night out at a wedding reception and all that goes with THAT experience, Mr. and Mrs. Hargrove exited their vehicle and viciously attacked Brainard and Deloach. Allegedly. Brainard got the worst of it, courtesy of Mr. Hargrove, who choked him by the neck to a state of unconsciousness and beat Brainard so bad, he has since required reconstructive facial surgery.
Ever the lady, and not to be outdone, Mrs.H apparently grabbed Deloach by the hair and forced her to the ground, also beating her. But she got an assist from her hubby, who -- not completely rage-fulfilled after nearly killing Brainard -- then put his leg onto Deloach's chest, pinning her to the ground. After rendering their victims helpless in the middle of a busy street, they callously took off. Apparently a mere hit-an- run just wasn't quite enough to satisfy their need for a reign of terror; a brutal beating was also necessary. Hey, you stay classy, Mr. and Mrs. H!
A requisite 10-day dragnet ensued and, according to the Tennessean, the couple "surrendered to Metro Nashville Police Department detectives" on Tuesday, October 6th. Of course, we're using the term "surrendered" loosely here. When I think of a suspect "surrendering," I think of someone with some shred of a conscience who, after hearing of the public and moral outrage of their violent, Neanderthal behavior, sheepishly pulls into the police station and turns themselves in after, say, oh … 10 days?
But no! Mr. and Mrs. H "surrendered" after detectives made an unannounced visit to their home, in Columbia, TN -- which is approximately 46 miles from Nashville. Only when confronted by police and faced with what must have been insurmountable evidence did they "surrender." That sounds more like investigation and apprehension -- but hey, it's only semantics, right?
Dustin Hargrove was charged with felony aggravated assault and misdemeanor assault. His wife, the lovely and charming Nichole, was charged with misdemeanor assault. Dustin posted $7,500 bond; hers was $1,000. So -- all in -- you can beat the living shit out of law-abiding citizens while they cross a public street, and still post lower than $10,000 in bail - less money than say, the cost of a kitchen or bathroom remodel and perhaps, a new deck or Jacuzzi in the backyard.
If none of the above causes you to be infuriated, outraged and otherwise pissed, then check out the mugshots for this bullying tag team in the Tennessean story here. At least Nichole had the decency to look miserable and somewhat distraught in her mugshot. As for Dustin, his shit-eating, smug grin almost makes me want to sink to his sub-human level of scumbaggery and kick the ever-living crap out of him. Almost. But not quite, and -- no promises. Then again, if I volunteer to apply the beating, who's with me to pool our money for the approximately $8,500 possibly needed to secure my release from jail as a result? I'll check into a GoFundMe account -- or, more appropriately, a KickStarter campaign.
As for Brainard, we hear he's recovering from his injuries, and that is the best news out of this entire, tragic mess. I had the pleasure of getting to know him a bit during my promotional stint with Arista Nashville. He produced Jerrod Neimann's first album, "Judge Jerrod & The Hung Jury," and occasionally joined Niemann on the road. Nice guy. Seemed very chill. You know the kind -- the kind who doesn't deserve to get beat up for no reason.
After the arrest of the notorious Hargroves, Brainard released a statement that read in part: "We are humbled by the outpouring of care and support from not only friends and family, but what feels like the entire city. A huge thanks to everyone involved. I'll be sleeping more soundly knowing this part of the process is over."
I'll be sleeping more soundly once these animals are convicted, and hopefully thrown in the slammer.
It was awesome to see RCA's Miranda Lambert honored with a star on Nashville's Music City Walk of Fame this past week. She'll be just 32 in November and look at -- or should I say look UP -- the long list of industry accolades and critical acclaim she's already amassed up in her still-young career. To chronicle them would take an entire column, so a "Walk of Fame" star is entirely deserved.
Lambert's fellow honorees were legendary guitarist Steve Cropper, iconic music executive E.W. "Bud" Wendell and, the Man In Black himself -- Johnny Cash.
Wait a minute -- Johnny Cash? That's not a pause as in, "How come Johnny Cash?" I mean -- hello?! Johnny-Effing-Cash!
What I'm wondering is: how come Johnny Cash is just NOW being honored? I previously believed -- and I don't think I'm alone here -- that Cash was already in -- or on -- the Walk, as it were.
This level of monumentally false assumption ranks up there with the common belief that Abe Vigoda is already dead (not yet); that the total amount of matter energy is always a constant (it isn't); Vikings wore horned helmets (they didn't); or cracking your knuckles gives you arthritis (it won't).
See what I mean? False. All of them.
Cash passed away in 2003 at the age of 71 and had iconic, cult-like status even then. It has only grown since, and exponentially. So you'd think that when the Music City Walk of Fame was established in 2006, by the Nashville Convention and Visitors Bureau, Cash would have been a charter member. To me, the first step -- the first brick -- in a Nashville Walk of Fame would begin with Cash.
But no, nine years after its inception and 12 years after his passing, The Walk of Fame finally installs Johnny Cash. Weird, huh? So one naturally thinks, "Who would be honored before Johnny Cash?"
Actually, I looked.
Among others, Jimi Hendrix, Trace Adkins, Kid Rock, Peter Frampton, Michael McDonald, Jack White, Josh Turner and former Nashville Mayor Karl Dean.
Now, don't misunderstand -- I'm not saying any of the above are not also worthy. Karl Dean helped make Nashville the country's "it" city and Jack White saved the Schermerhorn Symphony Hall after the 2010 flood.
All I'm saying is: BEFORE Johnny Cash? Wha--?! Huh?!
I looked at the Music City Walk of Fame website and clicked on the FAQ page. I now understand whether or not I need tickets to the induction ceremony, where to park, if inductees will actually be AT the ceremony (Cash wasn't; Lambert was), what happens if it rains on induction day and how to nominate someone. By the way, anyone can nominate someone, so who didn't nominate Johnny Cash for nine years? Please raise your hand, or contact me privately if you wish to remain anonymous.
What I don't see is criteria, or selection process, for the Walk of Fame. Of course, it's possible the Cash family did not wish for Johnny to be included until now, but he's been honored so many ways and so many times during his life and after his passing, that would seem unlikely.
Cash was inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame in 1977, the Country Music Hall in 1980, and the Rock and Roll Hall in '92. I realize the Music City Walk of Fame was established three years after his passing, but geez! What's a guy gotta do to get a slab of concrete with his name embedded in it? The man has his own museum in Nashville, for gawd's sake!
I guess it's moot now, because he's in, or on, or however you want to describe it and that's how it should be. But, since we're on the subject -- how come Waylon and Willie aren't on the Walk either? Have the Outlaws been outlawed? Hmnnn …..