Now It's Official: Radio Has Totally Gone To The Dogs
March 15, 2013 at 3:26 PM (PT)
The Right Irreverent PAIGE NIENABER has come down from wherever he holes up in to bequeath upon us the next great radio phenomenon. Or not. We now take you to the TOWNSQUARE MEDIA compound in KILLEEN, TX, from where PAIGE doth proclaim the following revelation:
"When ARBITRON unveiled their new business model in late ‘12 and announced their plan to broaden the sample and begin actively surveying dogs, recruiting dog households and installing Personal Puppy Meters for SPRING ‘13, I saw it as the cataclysmic and seismic occurrence that Radio has needed," the NIE of NABER proclaimed. "Our listener base just increased 145%. So with JOHN MEDINA from TOWNSQUARE MEDIA in KILLEEN and some of the brightest minds available in this price range, today at 5pm CT, we launched '101.7 The Bone -- Music For Dogs'."
Sample liner: "Lift your leg and let the music flow!"
The reaction has been swift if not altogether plausible. MIKE CAMPBELL with NEWCAP is rumored to have said that this is "The station that everyone in the office can agree on" and "The station you can turn on and leave on ... because dogs don't have hands," but we're waiting to vet that statement.
Even more worrisome: "Of course if dogs ever learn how to work mobile, we are totally screwed." NIENABER rued, which is so unlike him because PAIGE is usually well-mannered.