The $65 Million Joke
September 20, 2007 at 5:31 AM (PT)
AIR AMERICA RADIO morning "YOUNG TURKS" co-host CENK UYGUR is a lawyer, and that means trouble, sort of, for STEPHEN COLBERT. UYGUR, asserting that the COMEDY CENTRAL "COLBERT REPORT" host stole his "Klingon joke" for a SEPTEMBER 11th episode, says in a press release with a mock-indignant tone that he'll sue COLBERT and possibly COMEDY CENTRAL, MTV NETWORKS, VIACOM, JON STEWART and STEWART's BUS BOY PRODUCTIONS for $65 million. UYGUR's facetious (we hope) release advised all parties to "lawyer up" to defend against his mighty legal onslaught.
"Today’s word is: lawsuit," UYGUR said, tongue firmly in cheek. "As O.J. would say, 'Think you can steal my sh--? Up against the wall, m-----f---er.' I couldn’t have said it better myself, that’s why I didn’t; I just quoted him instead." He explained the $65 million figure by citing another recent controversial lawsuit, noting, "If a pair of lost pants is worth $65 million, then my jokes are worth a hell of a lot more. How do you value the gift of laughter? I think the MASTERCARD commercials nailed it. Priceless! Except this time it has a price .... and it’s $65 million."
UYGUR added, "Look, he’s messing with my livelihood. That’s how I put food on my kid’s table. If I had kids, that’s definitely where I would put the food. Plus, my girlfriend won’t have sex with me anymore because she says I’ve lost my sense of humor. I told her I didn’t lose it, it was stolen. I looked it up, they have a legal word for it: it’s called loss of consortium. That means no more hanky-panky and it costs big time in lawsuit world.
"I have nothing further to add."
Video of COLBERT's alleged joke theft is available at the TURKS' website.