Inferiority Complex

Radio station engineers can make you feel thisbig. They remind me of that character on Saturday Night Live, the exasperated computer guy who tells workers, "Move," then fixes their problem with five or six strokes of the keyboard.

I was convinced I had a computer virus this morning. No fewer than three times, my computer went to blue screen. The last straw was when I got the following ominous message: "Keyboard error. Does not recognize keyboard."

I called the extension for IT. "There's something really, really wrong with my computer this time," I told the guy at the other end.

"Be right up."

When he showed up in my doorway, I gave him an earful. My computer's a piece of crap, I told him. I was certain a heinous virus had somehow disabled my keyboard.

"I hope it's not erasing my files," I said. "Think you guys could look into getting me a decent computer?"

"Lemme take a look," he said, which was the same thing as saying "Move."

I wandered off to get a cup of coffee. When I returned, about five minutes later, the tech guy was gone. My computer was working again. I dialed his extension to find out what happened.

"The cord to the keyboard was loose in the back," he said. "I just plugged it all the way back in."

Oh. Uh. Thanks.