You Should Go And Love Yourself
September 13, 2016
One of the biggest roadblocks to experiencing lasting, meaningful fulfillment lies in our inability to establish a daily self-love practice.
We wake up in the morning and head straight for the phone, responding to emails and placing ourselves at the mercy of the world's demands. From there, the average American spends 47 hours a week in the office, almost a full workday more than what was once the standard. We give more than is required to our employer, many times without additional compensation.
Once we get home, we have spouses, kids, and household chores to attend to. We sit on email at night and stress out over the next office crisis. When the stress becomes too much, we numb out from the negative feelings and distract ourselves on social media or binge watching Stranger Things. If we are lucky, we get a solid 6 hours of sleep before we wake up, rinse, and repeat.
And so the 168 hours available to us in a week disappear quickly.
We don't get around to making it to the gym. We don't find the creative time that we crave. That meditation practice or yoga class we wanted to go to didn't happen, but we swear we'll get to it "next week."
We never do.
When new clients come to me, they insist that "there is no time" for these acts of self-love. In fact, they claim that it is selfish to put themselves first.
But there is a huge difference between self-love and narcissism.
Self-love is about giving love, attention, and care to yourself. But if that is where it stops, it absolutely becomes selfish.
Self-love that is not extended to other people and given away isn't self-love at all. There must be a flow of giving and receiving involved.
However, the process has to start with giving to ourselves. Why? Because we cannot give to others what we don't have.
If you are financially bankrupt, you cannot give money to a friend or loved one. And the same holds true with your presence and energy if you are exhausted and emotionally bankrupt.
There is the old biblical quote about how "My cup runneth over." While we generally use that phrase sarcastically these days, it was originally a way of saying that "I have more than enough for my needs."
When we commit to self-love, making time each day for the hobbies and activities that make us feel alive, we show up in the world energized and excited. We have given to ourselves to such a degree that our energy spills over to those around us.
The best part of giving to others from a point of overflow is that we will never find ourselves in a state of "Giver's Remorse," where we feel obligated and resentful about giving to others when we know we don't have the energy to do it.
As a mentor of mine once said, self-love is not about "me, me, me." It starts with "me" so that we can build a stronger "we."
I recommend at least one hour of self-love to my clients each day. On the surface, it seems overwhelming. Yet, those 7 hours only represent 4% of the total week.
That 4% could be this difference in moving from exhaustion to exhilaration.
Your happiness is worth the effort.
Do you need a mentor to help you take control of your life, set boundaries, and find time for your dreams? I'd love to help. Sign up for FREE weekly email training right now at www.creativesoulcoaching.net.