Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check - May 13, 2011
May 13, 2011
Oops! As of October 1st of this year, having sex will be illegal in Florida.
However, there's a ray of hope, according to the blogger officially known as the Southern Fried Scientist, who discovered that Florida's poorly-written anti-bestiality law prohibits sex between humans:
"If you're living in Florida on October 1, 2011 and would like to have sexual intercourse with a consenting adult, please check with your veterinarian or local livestock breeder first to make sure you abide by 'accepted animal husbandry practices, conformation judging practices, or accepted veterinary medical practices.'"
Editor's note: Well, there go my plans for the weekend. (Maiman)
No winner in Wednesday night's drawing for the Powerball Lottery. That means Saturday night's drawing is valued at $81 million ($42.1 million cash value). Powerball is played in 44 states, Washington DC and the U-S Virgin Islands. Chances of winning the grand prize (all five numbers plus the powerball) are 1 in 195.2 million.
"Like A Rolling Stone" is BOB DYLAN's greatest song. That's according to Rolling Stone magazine which has put together a list of his 70 best tunes. The issue comes out on May 24th, which is also Bob's 70th birthday. The songs were chosen by a panel of critics, academics and musicians. BONO writes that 1965's "Like A Rolling Stone" is (quote), "a black eye of a pop song," while MICK JAGGER praises the three-chord simplicity of the 11-minute "Desolation Row." Other lists in the issue include 20 "overlooked classics," and best Dylan cover tunes. The JIMI HENDRIX version of "All Along The Watchtower" tops that particular list. (Marino)
Morons on Parade:
Ever since Navy SEALs killed OSAMA BIN LADEN, fake commandos have been popping up everywhere.
Agence France-Presse says imposter SEALs have been spotted in churches, Wal-Marts, Greyhound buses and fast food places in the last week.
Retired real Navy SEAL DON SHIPLEY investigates SEAL-wannabes. He used to investigate about fifteen or twenty a day. Shipley says, "Now I'm getting upwards of 40-50 a day. Since the bin Laden thing, everyone's a SEAL."
The number of fake military heroes parading around is expected to go up even higher during Armed Forces Week next week and Memorial Day at the end of May. (Still)
Things you shouldn't talk about:
Warning: note sexual content.
The ideal romance is built on honesty --too bad some significant others can be a little too truthful! The love gurus over at Yahoo.com discovered four things you really shouldn't talk about with your boyfriend!
1. Personal Care Habits. Details about girl stuff like waxing, shaving or "that time of the month" just aren't meant for sharing.
2. Sex With an Ex. This just might be the one subject that could give your guy a major complex. Shy away from the conversation and --if it must be discussed-- lightly remind him that he's the only one you're sleeping with.
3. What Guy Friends You've Had a "Thing" For. This could make jealousy rear it's ugly head leading to paranoia or a ton of questioning. Even if it was a harmless crush, it's probably best left in the past.
4. You Still Think About Your Ex. The more he knows about your last Captain Fantastic, the better.
Phone Starter: Have the ladies sound off about what they don't care to hear. (Lee)
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