Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check - Nov 4, 2011
November 4, 2011
Ways to spend the extra hour of Daylight Saving Time (Maiman):
--Take Lindsay Lohan's place in jail
--Come up with your own 9-9-9 tax plan just like Herman did during last year's Daylight Saving Time
--Put up all those pictures you've been hoarding on your camera onto your Facebook page, because everyone's SO interested in seeing them.
--Send condolence cards to Texas Rangers telling them, "Thanks for choking, losers!"
--Steal another $10 trillion (investment banks only)
--Train your parrot to say, "Herman Cain harassed me, too!"
--Take a break from your usual Saturday night of Internet porn and treat yourself to an escort service (Star Trek fans only)
--Why not try The Meat House's 58-minute recipe for gorgonzola stuffed beef tenderloin with sautéed baby spinach? Yum!
--Everyone you know: "An extra hour of sleep." You? An extra hour of 3 am Occupy Wall Street drumming in the heart of your lovely neighborhood (or middle of your apartment courtyard). Why should your neighbor's get extra sleep if you're not?
--Marry and divorce Kim Kardashian
Sucking the life out of the wire services:
Diehard romantics will be heartbroken to hear that COURTENEY COX and DAVID ARQUETTE are through. The estranged hubby of the "Cougar Town" star revealed on "The View" they have no plans to reunite, but are "dear friends" and simply not compatible. On the bright side, David just celebrated ten-months of sobriety and is finally taming his vicious, self-destructive streak. (Lee)
Sucks to be you:
NADYA SULEMAN is back in the news for being flat-broke. The "Octo-Mom" whined to Dr. DREW on his "Lifechangers" show last Wednesday that the family is living paycheck-to-pacheck and says she's having to bathe her 14 kids in the kitchen sink due to plumbing problems. Luckily, the kind-hearted TV shrink came to her rescue --the good doctor gave her a free year of cleaning services, child care and tuition in a six-month course so she can become a certified personal trainer. (Lee)
Today’s Tiresome Kardash-ivorce Update:
KIM KARDASHIAN put one fake eye lash in one suitcase, the other fake eyelash in another suitcase and beat feet outta Australia yesterday. She headed back stateside, abandoning her publicity tour to publicize her new line of handbags. She flew back to L-A to deal with the P-R nightmare she tried to leave behind after she filed for divorce from KRIS HUMPHRIES. Styleite.com says that since she cut her trip short, she’s losing out on a one-hour appearance that would have paid her a cool 153-thousand dollars. (Bartha)
Meanwhile, the fashion critics are piling on by calling out the Kardashian Kollection Australian handbag line. (That’s “collection” spelled with a K). They say the sisters’ designs look a lot like knockoffs from other designers. Fashionista.com says “It sort of became a fun game to look through the Kardashian Kollection and see who they were ripping off.” They came up with at least eight. That includes knock-off looks of Balenciaga, Chloe, Yves Saint Laurent, Alexander Wang, Chanel, Foley and Corinna and Proenza Schouler. (Bartha)
Something else to take away radio listening time in the morning --CNN says SOLEDAD O'BRIEN will head up a new morning show on the network starting next year. Deadline.com says the "conversational ensemble program" will run from 7-9 am (Eastern) and discuss the top issues of the day.
Add KEITH URBAN to the list of singers who need throat surgery. The country music star will have an operation later this month to remove a polyp on his vocal chords. Keith will have to rest and recuperate for a while after the procedure, so he's canceled all appearances through the end of the year. Any performances he has to do before the operation will be limited to one song.
FYI: Other singers who needed throat surgery in the last few months include ADELE, JOHN MAYER and PAUL STANLEY of KISS. (Marino)
RIHANNA canceled another concert in Sweden because let's face it, she's tired! She wasn't feeling well before Wednesday night's show in Stockholm so she called it off. Rihanna scrapped a concert Monday night in Malmo because she had the flu. She was able to perform in Stockholm on Tuesday. (Marino)
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