August 14, 2013
My girlfriend, Kate, has a constant companion in the form of a little dog named Lily. It might be helpful if Kate wore a long sign around her neck that read: my dog's name is Lily; she is a cockapo; the 'po' stands for poodle; she is fully grown, not a puppy; I know she is tiny and cute; yes her color is unusual, her dad was a brown-red, and her mom was white; and yes, as you can tell by her tag, she is indeed a that dog; she goes to the hospital to help distressed patients and families; no she doesn't bite, yes, you can pet her; no, she is not available for breeding.
You see, if Kate would have had that sign when she and Lily and I met for coffee, we may have been able to have a conversation. I kid you not, every single person that walked by stopped to talk to her about the dog. I should probably ask myself, "what does that dog has that my radio show needs....besides a leash."
She college slang
Awkward turtle: feeling like you're in an awkward situation
Blaze: to smoke marijuana
Fail: to make a mistake
Epic Fail: to make a huge mistake
Fro-yo: frozen yogurt
Roll mad deep: to hang out in a large group of people
Sister from another mister: girlfriends who feel close like sisters
Spit game: to flirt
Walk of shame: what girls do after spending the night with a guy
(Source: UCLA slang dictionary)
A regular wet tea bag (with caffeine) doubles as a window cleaner. Just wipe, and dry with a clean cloth.
Read all snail and email sent from your credit card company, even if it looks like an advertisement. They may be quietly, but legally, raising your interest rate.
If she's run out of hair gel, she could substitute regular (not gel) shaving cream.
How much will she spend on her child's college supplies this fall?
A recent USA Today survey showed these results:
Dorm supplies: $180
School supplies: $261
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