April 7, 2015
Expenses, food, and spring break; these are the hot topics in the karate waiting room I eavesdrop on. They fall right in line with my girlfriend Linda's Facebook status update: "Not feeling at all bitter when people talk about their spring vacations. My vacation is plastered across my daughter's teeth, which will one day be as beautiful as a Jamaican sunrise (though perhaps not as colorful). So bring it on, do tell..."
I'm totally feeling Linda's sarcasm when I'm at my kickboxing class, as the tan gals totally stick out from us pasty white ladies who have been stuck dealing with a long, cold, and boring winter. For my body, tan skin just looks better, healthier, and I want it! However, I find it in a bottle of Jergen's Body Glow, not Orlando or St. Thomas. In my life, the braces card has been played, and I've given my kid's mouth's different names: one is Club Med, and the other is Carnival Cruise.
Now, when it comes to their retainers, excuse me, replacement retainers, they have different names as well. In fact, I think my kids have covered all the Hawaiian Islands with their respective replacement values. Have I told you about the time my youngest daughter lost her retainer 4 hours after receiving it? It was pizza day at her school, and she accidentally threw it away in the little box her personal greasy slice was served in. She had wrapped her retainer in a napkin (which is a cardinal sin when it comes to orthodontia.) Of course we didn't realize it until right before bedtime. This was certainly the one night she went to bed on time, perhaps even dreaming of a Jamaican sunset, or another slice of pizza.
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