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Get That Metal Detector Away From My Butt
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The government is trying to figure out how to mine precious metals from your poop. Yes, YOUR poop. See, they figure that the dumps you send to the sewage treatment plant contains precious metals (what the hell ARE you eating?), and they're looking for ways to mine it out of there. You know, if it's OUR poop, shouldn't WE get first dibs? Oh, wait, that'd mean we'd have to... ugh. Never mind. (Washington Post)
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