Don’t Shoot The Turkey …

Between family conflicts, RIF's (reduction in force), financial woes, holiday breakups, and high expectations --not everyone loves the holidays. But above and beyond those issues, this will be one of the strangest Thanksgivings in recent history.

We Need Smell-A-Vison ...
Usually, many air personalities use the holidays as an excuse to escape the madness after the family feast. Those on-air hours were like meditation -- no office workers or management; just you, the mic and the listeners. This year's turkey day will be a slimmed down version or a virtual "look but can't smell or taste event." Instead of escaping to the station studio, a lot of air talent will be in their make-shift home studio. I can see invitees eating pumpkin pie and wandering in and marveling at an air personality trying to do a show.

I’ll Always Remember ...
This will be a Thanksgiving memory you'll never forget. I have a fun Thanksgiving memory to share with you that still puts a smile on my face.

Gobble ...
There was a bit I did one Thanksgiving that stretched out over my four-hour shift. The premise was turkeys organizing and disguising themselves trying to escape the last-minute gobble shoppers. Hey look, I was doing evenings and I had 5 to 10-year old’s mesmerized.

Why Not ...
My PD encouraged me, once I explained what I wanted to do on-air. His instructions were: No talk-set longer than 30 seconds, have fun, and be word efficient. I went in the production room and recorded my character, Mr. Tom Tur-Kay, a spokesman who occasionally dropped in a gobble between words. A turkey disguised as a nervous human who jumped at loud noises, especially anything sounding like a gunshot.

Plan Of Action ...
Ah, theater of the mind, a vegan turkey on the lam until Thanksgiving was over. As soon as I hit the air and started the bit, I got calls from parents whose young children seemed to understand it was a turkey trying to avoid the carving knife. Everyone loves an underdog; the parents put the little ones on the phone, and they begged me to protect Mr. Tom Tur-Kay. The bit worked because the listeners could hear that I never let Tom know that I knew he was a turkey. I had to stay in character when I recorded the fictitious pretender. To make it lifelike, I recorded Tom Tur-Kay in individual labeled segments and coordinated with my board operator. On the air it sounded like we were talking to each other. I had rehearsed to make the verbal exchange believable.

Never Again ... But ...
I never again had the opportunity to repeat the Mr. Tom Tur-Kay bit. However, the reaction to the experience taught me that holidays can be family fun on the air. I learned you can adhere to format programming directives and still interact with listeners. It's never about the amount of time on the air in the moment, but what you do with it.