CPR Promotional Check-Up - Jan 13, 2017

Jerry Miller With More Ratings Inc.

I believe that Steve O in his past incarnation as Carson at 98PXY thought up this bit. Basically he called and asked me to leave them a smarmy voicemail as their new morning show consultant. And he wanted me to be the consultant from Hell. (Huge stretch). Bad ideas. I came up with "Jerry Miller with More Ratings Inc." and turned him into the nightmare we all fear.

The bit basically has Jerry leaving aircheck session voicemails for the morning show, critiquing that morning's show. Which they then play back and mock. A basic Jerry call involves:

1. Bashing whatever your most popular morning show feature is.
2. Offering a really bad idea ("The Smooth Jazz station I do in Dothan, Alabama has this thing we do called Radio Mad Libs...")
3. Mispronouncing one of the morning show people's names (indicating I don't really listen that closely)
4. And most importantly, attacking the loveable female co-host. ("I don't know who gave Sandy the idea she was more then a phone answerer. You need to get her to shut up. Your audience, 18-34 women, are conservative with very religious and moral values. The last thing they want to hear in the morning is some mouthy broad talking about a date she went on or how drunk she got at Jingle Ball. They want relationship talk. They want to know what the school lunch menus are. They want to happy talk. Not this profane dribble Sandy spews out.")

I have never ceased to be the most hated person in the market after the very first call. The bit evolves with more and more frequent phone messages, demanding thrice-daily calls and the next day's show mapped out and faxed over so I can approve or nix each feature, break or bit. Eventually I start hotlining them and the PD fires me.

98PXY actually had Jerry Miller show up in their research a couple months ago...a full year after Mike Danger fired him as the station consultant.

Q-107.5 in Memphis is using Jerry now and in two voicemails, I bagged on Kennedy, did the whole "stick her on the phones and get her OFF the air" thing, trashed their highly successful bike drive ("kids don't want bikes. They want socks and underwear") and mispronounced the sidekicks name.

This has been the response. (They created a fake e-mail address for Jerry.)

Jerry Miller is HUGE!!!! We set up an email address for him and gave it out on the air. Memphis hates him!!!! We've played the last voicemail 3 times. On the next one...we'd like for him to mention some of the nasty emails. Maybe Jerry heard us talking about him, or has read the emails , and are wondering how the audience even knows he exists.

This is from a listener:
To whom it may concern:

First off, I listen to the Q107.5 morning show every morning on my way to work. And I have been since they came on the air.The first year of Bikes or Bust was extremely successful for them and the second year was as well. Obviously before you took the job as the morning show manageror whatever your title may be, you didn't look at the past history of this wonderful yearly event. No you may have not seen a radio station do anything withchildren who were less fortunate so then you have no right to say thatBikes or Bustwould be unsuccessful or more or less a stupid idea. If anything, this radio station should be honored because they do Bikes or Bust every year. And seeing as you are the expert in "more ratings" you should see that this, if nothing else, gets their name out there to bring in more ratings. Listening to your voice mail on the morning show made me think of Ebenezer Scrooge because you were against giving these children anything to look forward to this Christmas.
And secondly, what problem do you have against Kennedy talking on the morning show? Your statement in your voice mail sounded a little sexist if not harassing. If you haven't realized it Sir, Kennedy is part of the morning show, hence the name "The morning show with Karson and Kennedy". So what if she voices her opinion or heaven forbid talk on the morning show, if she stopped you might loose your precious ratings. Not saying that Country Cory and Karson couldn't hold the show on their own, but Kennedy makes it more relatable to girls and women. And to tell her to pretty much shut up and to work the sound boards is like saying that women don't belong on the radio.
You, Sir, should be ashamed of yourself. I hope that the voice mail you left was nothing but a joke, and if not then you should leave yet another voice mail apologizing to the morning show, the children who receive the bikes from Bikes or Bust and Kennedy personally. For not only did you make yourself look like an ass, but also the company you work for. I sincerely hope that you don't ruin the morning show with your stupid ideas of how radio should be, and if you do, I pity you because you will be the most hated man in the Memphis area.

And:

I heard the voicemail this morning from Mr. Miller for the first time and I started thinking about what he said; and you know I can't even remember the first pair of underwear or tube socks that I received at Christmas, but I do remember the first bike I ever got and how long I had it! Why is it that everyone who is not from the South is always trying to change the South? We're doing just fine here; i.e. Southern Charm, Southern cooking and "Country Cory". You don't reinvent the wheel here; you just slap some spinner rims and tires on the Oldsmobile and keep on moving, the show is great! Bikes or Bust will always be remembered by those kids who received from it and it's a great thing you guys have done. Keep it up.

Any time you can get people to stop using you passively, it's huge. Currently taking new clients for More Ratings Inc. for the 1st Quarter.

Jerry Miller, Morning Show Agent

I'm planning on having Jerry lose his consultancy and become an agent. I'm going to base him on this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D421N6xlisg and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPpepopSWOE