"Murder," She Wrote

It's been a rough few months or so down here on planet Earth. Texas, Florida, and Puerto Rico devastated by hurricanes, wild fires out West, and, not to be outdone, Mexico chimed in with an 8.4 magnitude earthquake, followed by huge aftershocks and a possible tsunami. I mean, now they're just showing off. Nobody can agree on what the NFL should do when the National Anthem is played, we're not sure what role Russia played in our last Presidential election, and, well, let's not even get started (and I mean that literally) with North Korea, please?

What we all need is a mini-vacation. Because I'm a giver – and, because it's Halloween – here's a fun, light-hearted topic sure to take your mind off all that carnage.

I'm talking, of course, about murder.

Okay, wait. Before you go calling me a sick S.O.B., understand: I'm talking about fictional, homicidal story songs in Country music, not the real deal. The topic came up during a text exchange with my daughter, Riley, who's now a freshman at the University of Alabama.

Riley: Dad, does Garth Brooks have an exclusive streaming deal somewhere, meaning his music isn't on Apple Music?

Me: Correct, he's only on Amazon.

Riley: Dang, I was putting together a playlist of murder songs on Apple Music and looking for "Papa Loved Mama." It's a shame he won’t get to be a part of it.

Me: That is a glaring omission, but, hey – murder music? Roll Tide!

She already had a killer list of songs (pun intended), which I'll share in a moment, but it got me thinking: Country music has a rich tradition of songs with people killing each other, doesn't it? As the format exploded again around 2012, we kind of forgot about murder and crimes of passion, which have been overtaken by a steady diet of spring break, party-time, Bro influenced tunes. While Country was busy going mass appeal, mass murder and voluntary manslaughter have largely died off.

Did I really just say that?

If you Google Country songs about murder, you get the usual list of classics, led appropriately by The Man In Black, Johnny Cash, who blessed us with "Folsom Prison Blues," ("I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die." Hello?!?) "Cocaine Blues," and his version of "Long Black Veil." Another one that'll pop on any murderous song search is The Louvin Brothers’ "Knoxville Girl." And you thought Bluegrass was upbeat and positive? Think again.

In the late 60s, Johnny Paycheck recorded "Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill." I don’t think I'm alone here when I say this one is self-explanatory. Less so is Johnny Horton's "When It's Springtime In Alaska," which is an after-the-fact saga from the victim's perspective. Ditto the classic "El Paso," by Marty Robbins from the fantastic "Gunfighter Ballads And Trail Songs" album, which also featured murder classics "Big Iron" and "They're Hanging Me Tonight," in which Robbins gifts us with a two-for one deal: a slaying AND an execution!

Similarly, in 1975, Willie Nelson gave us an entire LP dedicated to murder, the iconic "Red Headed Stranger" concept album. It's possibly his greatest-ever work, and one of the best Country albums of all time. Not specifically Country, but perhaps Country-adjacent, is a great death song, The Kingston Trio's 1958 classic "Tom Dooley."

Of course, all of these examples are ancient history in today's context. In 1991, Reba McEntire covered "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia" and took it to #12. The 1972 original, sung by Carol Burnett Show regular Vicki Lawrence – some may better remember her as the star of the sitcom "Mama's Family" – hit #1 on the Pop charts.

Shortly after Reba's cover of "Georgia," Garth Brooks put the song Riley was looking for, "Papa Loved Mama," on his "Ropin' The Wind" album. As the fourth single, it peaked at #3. But, it wasn't Garth's first offense, so to speak, when it comes to offing someone musically. Let's not forget "The Thunder Rolls," the fourth single from his "No Fences" album, which became his sixth #1. The song's third verse contained the smoking gun – literally – and the video helped power the song, which had struggled initially.

Martina McBride released "Independence Day" in 1994, a career-maker for her, and a 1995 CMA Song Of the Year award winner for Gretchen Peters, who wrote it. The title is deceiving, and if you've somehow never heard it, spoiler alert: it involves arson, and may or may not be entirely about the founding of our great nation.

In 2000, the Dixie Chicks released "Goodbye Earl," another payback song with a "Thelma & Louise" kind of theme, off the band's "Fly" album. It peaked at #14, but not without controversy. Some critics – and radio listeners – felt the song advocated violence. I mean, if you consider poison and dead-body-dumping violent. Well, duh.

The same year, two of Country Music's Mt. Rushmore artists – George Strait and Alan Jackson – teamed up for "Murder On Music Row." I may be wrong on this – somebody will surely tell me – but this could be the first-ever duet for Strait, who was previously never caught dead duetting. While not the story of an actual murder, but rather a metaphorical commentary on the state of Country music, the song was never really a single, but many stations played it as an event record, helping it chart and peak at #38. The pairing earned Strait and Jackson CMA Awards for Vocal Event and Song of the Year.

Blake Shelton has blood on his hands too, with "Ole Red," a crime of passion song first cut by George Jones and Kenny Rogers in 1990, and 1993, respectively. Neither of those already famous stars could make it a hit; it took relative newcomer Shelton to do that, peaking it at #14. And all these years, you thought it was a warm and fuzzy number about a dog.

The recent overall direction of Country music – away from traditional sounds and fewer story songs in general – has lowered the murder rate for the format of late. Today's Country is much more production than story-driven, leans very pop, features drum loops, layered choruses and big hooks.

That said, the topic of homicide is "Not dead yet," as the anonymous corpse famously said in the opening scene of "Monty Python And The Holy Grail." (Funniest movie ever!) These days, however, the ladies have taken ownership of the foul play lane, and you can thank Carrie Underwood and Miranda Lambert for keeping the murder sub-genre alive. Whether independently, or working together, when somebody does these women wrong, you know "Something Bad" is about to happen.

Underwood has a small catalogue of killer songs that includes "Church Bells, "Blown Away," "Two Black Cadillacs," and "Before He Cheats." Of course, all but the last one deal directly with dispatching, but I think we all know damned well that if that truck owner showed up a few minutes earlier, Underwood would have gladly used that Louisville slugger on more than just the headlights.

Lambert more than holds her own when it comes to vengeance, giving us "Gun Powder And Lead," "Kerosene," and "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend," to name a few.

Alright, I've done some easy research, hopefully enlightening you on the history of murder and mayhem at Country radio. File it away under, "the next time I audition for Jeopardy" or "useful info I'll bring to trivia night at my favorite watering hole." Let me know if I've missed any – as I'm sure I have.

And, to further help you along, here's part of the list Riley compiled all on her own. Gosh, I'm a proud dad!

Dixie Chicks - Goodbye Earl

Carrie Underwood – Before He Cheats

Carrie Underwood – Two Black Cadillacs

Johnny Cash – Delia's Gone

George Strait/Alana Jackson – Murder On Music Row

Lyle Lovett – LA County

Waylon Jennings – Cedartown, Georgia

Willie Nelson – Red Headed Stranger

Blake Shelton – Ole Red

Kenny Rogers – Coward Of The County

Kenny Rogers – Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town

Miranda lambert – Gunpowder And Lead

Garth Brooks – Papa Loved Mama

Johnny Paycheck – Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill

Johnny Cash – 25 Minutes To Go