The Misses Matter Most!

If you follow me, you know the last couple weeks have been rough in regard to how I've been feeling. The great news is that for the third set of scans over the last six months, we've seen an overall decrease in the size of my disease.

Twelve days ago, I took my last opiate. I'd been taking them over the last five years of my cancer diagnosis to deal with chronic pain from the disease -- specifically, a tumor near my sciatic nerve. Late last year and over the holidays, I received 15+ rounds of radiation with the idea that it would be able to shrink the disease and alleviate a majority of the pain.

Opiate reduction isn't easy and at this point, I'm starting to feel better from taking this step. I'm happy to report that the pain that originated my daily dosage of 150 mgs of morphine and 100+ mgs of Oxycodone for the last two-plus years hasn't increased.

I took this step because I felt extremely sluggish, cognitively stuck in the mud and waking up each day just hoping I'd make it through. After thinking about this over and over, it clicked that if the radiation treatment worked the way it was intended, I should be feeling much better. I asked my Palliative Physician why I wasn't thriving in all areas as we realized that my body had become dependent on the pain medicine. If I was going to know if the radiation worked, I'd have to come off all of the opiates, which isn't common among those with chronic, late-stage cancer like myself.

I remember, at 19, driving a Hertz truck with my Dad through Chicago. I had decided to pack and move to Florida to program my first radio station. Dad wasn't worried about me leaving for an opportunity as he left Ireland for the U.S. at about the same age. He was more nervous about me driving a truck, so we set out in order to make him feel comfortable and allow me to drive alone. While we were winding through the Northwest side of Chicago, I got up enough nerve and asked him if he was okay with me taking a shot. He said, "If you want to dig ditches, dig ditches!" I have to be honest; I had no idea what he was talking about but was afraid to ask.

Several years later, my Dad was taking me back to the airport after a brief visit and we stopped at a stoplight at a corner on the South side of Chicago. He pointed and mentioned that he and his team from People's Gas put the main gas line in that area, which supplied energy to that neighborhood. When I asked him about it he lit up, smiled and was excited to share the steps of this process. In that very moment, I realized what he meant many years prior when he said, "If you want to dig ditches, dig ditches!" He was proud that at 19, he left one country for another in hopes that he could find something meaningful ... he was glad he took a chance! It paid off, he was happy to do it, it became his passion and a way to provide for his family.

At a young age I developed a personality that pushed me to swing for the fences. Sometimes I hit it out of the park and other times I struck out, yet looking back I'm thankful I stepped to the plate and swung hard.

Reach out with comments, ideas, or your stories and photos to John Thomas:
Cell: (585) 469-0738 || JT@AllAccess.com
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