Did You Just Pull Out 'The Cancer Card?'

I remember the first time someone said this to me.

I was horrified and embarrassed. I felt misunderstood.

For a while it caused me to stop talking about my disease. This triggered me to shut down on an emotional level.

Ultimately it affected my desire to fight physically. I went from feeling hopeful to helpless very quickly!

Often times we look at the struggles we face as personal and keep them to ourselves. We are ashamed to bring them up because someone may judge us, look at us like we are weak or we worry that they may think we are pulling it out for self-serving reasons.

Recently I was with a buddy who has struggled with addiction his whole life. As we sat in a Cracker Barrel eating breakfast, he shared his story, which started at 14 when he became an alcoholic. As alcoholism took hold of his life, he added other addictive substances over the next 15+ years. I'm happy to say my friend is now using the skills he has learned from seven rehab stays, a ton of self-reflection, a phenomenal support system and hard work in order to overcome his addiction daily.

As we sat and finished our Old Timers Breakfast with an extra hash brown casserole, toast a blueberry pancake, he kept telling me how much he was inspired by my fight. When someone says this to me, I usually say thank you, which moves the conversation away from me. This time as I said thank you, my heart took over and I started to share with him how much his story inspired me in that very moment.

It inspired me because he's fought something daily for many years and chosen to never give up on himself. If this doesn't inspire someone with a terminal disease, then nothing will!

I went on to strongly suggest that he needs to share his story with everyone he possibly can. I gave him example after example of why being on the offensive with his vulnerability will give him an opportunity to help others through their difficult times. Later that afternoon, I put him in contact with another friend who has been battling addiction for many years. My goal was to make contact between these two so they could help one another; having one friend who has successfully battled addiction help one who is currently battling helps two people I care about.

Earlier this morning, I sat at a counter eating breakfast with my Dad and overheard two servers discussing someone they love who was just stricken with a sickness that has him in a temporary medically induced coma. They were struggling seeing him lifeless in a hospital bed, but realized that doctors have him in this state so they can address what is attacking him. I could have just ignored the conversation like everyone else at the counter, but instead I smiled and said that I was sorry they were going through this difficult time as a family.

This small acknowledgement allowed for a conversation with individuals I didn't know and will probably never see again. The several minutes we shared openly about real emotions, fears & life's vulnerabilities allowed for complete strangers on opposite sides of a counter to feel like someone cared.

As I walked away from that counter, a gentleman who sat to my right and overheard our whole conversation looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "Thank you and keep fighting, friend!"

I've learned that the struggle I face can be just mine or I can share it. I've watched time and time again that by sharing my diagnosis, struggle and fight brings a sense of vulnerability ... and allows for others not to feel so stuck inside their own tragedy.

So let me answer the question...

Yes, I did ... I pulled out "The Cancer Card."

... And I'll do it every chance I get.

BTW, if you want to meet up for breakfast sometime, I'm in!

Reach out with comments, ideas, or your stories and photos to John Thomas:
Cell: (585) 469-0738 || JT@AllAccess.com
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