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It's Not A "Setback", It's A "Starting Point"
February 9, 2016
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"How is it that with so many brilliant beings on your planet, so few recognize that when one's life encounters turbulence, choppy waters, or setbacks, it's always a sign that things are about to get wildly better than they've ever been before?"
- AnonHave you ever gotten everything you ever wanted only to realize it didn't make you as happy as you thought it would? Yeah, I've been there too.
I've always been a goal oriented person. So once I became a major market PD in Cleveland at 23, I decided to shoot for the stars. I told myself by age 30, I would be programming either Z100 in New York, KIIS in Los Angeles, or Y100 in Miami. Sure enough, 6 months before my 30th birthday, Clear Channel offered me the opportunity to move to South Florida, where I took the reins at Y100.
I did it. I had climbed the ladder and achieved my "Dream job".
Then I quickly realized that the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall.
I wouldn't say that I knew from day 1 on the job that something wasn't right, but by the end of my second week, I went home and told my girlfriend at the time "This isn't what I thought it would be, and I'm not sure this is going to end well."
Everyone who hired me was out of the building within my first 100 days. The market manager was transferred to the Midwest, the Operations Manager was sent back to his prior market, and soon thereafter, a brand new regime came in to run the cluster. They made it very clear I was not their hire, nor part of their future plans. Many of the PD's in the building were replaced within 12 months of the change, and I was one of them.
Getting fired in radio is a certainty, but I was always taught by one of my mentors, Kevin Metheny, the importance of letting people keep their dignity on the way out of the door.
The new bosses evidently didn't believe in that idea. They brought candidates in to interview for my job and paraded them openly in the hallways while I was there. I was getting calls from record people updating me on the contract negotiations of my replacement. Two weeks before they let me go, I started getting mail on my desk addressed to the still publicly unannounced new guy, listing him as "Program Director." It was the industry's worst kept secret. Yet, I had to go into the office every day for another month as a lame duck PD until they finally fired me two weeks before Christmas.
My "dream" lasted all of 8 months, leaving me confused, crushed, embarrassed, and asking "why me?"
Yet, in that experience, I learned an important lesson that changed the way I look at the world. Anytime we encounter what appears to be a massive setback, it's usually just the universe shifting us in a different direction. More importantly, it's always a better path than the one we were on.
Within 6 weeks, I was hired by Entercom to program KDND in Sacramento at the time that the station was reeling from the infamous "Hold Your Wii for a Wii" contest. The situation there was dire and even the higher-ups were unsure if the brand could survive the negative publicity.
Working with the amazing team in Sacramento turned out to be one of the biggest professional successes of my career. Together, we took the station from "worst to first," and held that #1 position for the majority of my 5 year run there.
But that cross country move wasn't just a necessary career step. It also served as a pivotal time in my personal life. The move to Sacramento led to ending a relationship that wasn't healthy for me. As I struck out to build a new life in a new city, I reconnected with my other creative outlets that I had put on hold since college, specifically my passion for theatre. I spent most of my life after work performing onstage all over the city. Most importantly, it led me to making some of the most amazing and important friendships of my adult life that I cherish to this day.
And none of this would have happened had I not had the setback in Miami.
I recognize that a crisis can have far bigger consequences than the temporary loss of a job. They can come in the form of a death, a health issue, or a string of bad luck that turns your life upside down.
But as motivational speaker Mastin Kipp says, "A delay is not a denial."
When I work with clients, I am inspired by how a deeper meaning can be found even in life's biggest challenges. What is the deeper meaning of your relationship ending? Do you need to learn to stand in your power and ask for what you want? Do you need to learn to set better boundaries? What is the deeper meaning in your medical diagnosis? Is your body asking for you to slow down and take better care of yourself? For my radio friends who have found themselves on the wrong side of "Radio Restructuring Avenue," could it actually be that you are on the right side? Is this really just a chance to pursue a new opportunity you've always thought about but you were too scared to leave your comfort zone? Is the universe actually nudging you to chase your dreams?
The thing that is hurting you today may very well be the path that is leading you to your purpose.
So how do we find a bigger lesson in what appears to be a major crisis? Here are some tips:
- Stop asking "Why Me?" Being a victim is just going to snowball into an avalanche of resentment, self-doubt and fear. Victims say "Why is this happening to me?" Empowered people on the path to transformation ask "Could this actually be happening FOR me?" Which kind of person do you want to be?
- Get still. Meditate. Simply ask the universe to show you the meaning of what you are experiencing.
- Then look at every new experience and every new person that you meet after that as an answer to your question. This is what is known as "synchronicity." Those random moments of being in the right place at the right time, in fact, aren't "random" at all. It's simply the universe showing you the answers that you asked for.
We are given many great gifts over the course of a lifetime, but perhaps the greatest is the freedom to choose. As Semisonic once said, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." All it takes on your part is to open your mind and make a choice to see the world from a different perspective. You can choose to see your struggle as the universe telling you "no," or see it as a big picture "yes." Whichever meaning you give it, you will be right, because reality is only what we believe it to be.
Leave a comment in the box below to continue the dialogue and don't forget to go to www.creativesoulcoaching.net to sign up for my free Download Your Dreams webinar on February 18th, where I will show you the tools to reach any goal you want in 2016. And it's absolutely FREE!
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