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Why Are We Still Teasing In 2019?
November 26, 2019
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Your credit card company emails or texts to tell you to save more by using their card at grocery stores, and all you have to do is activate your 5% Cash Back Shopping bonus.
Really? So, I have your card, and you can take the time to email me or text me to tell me to jump through a hoop to activate savings on the card that I already have from you??
Shouldn't they have just made my card, automatically reap those bonus savings, instead of making me take time from music logs, air check sessions, my baby's poopy diaper changes and all the other things that already make my day hectic??
The answer is yes, they should have, and they could, but they are attempting to get us engaged to their product with awareness, part of their branding process. But it is all about them, and not one iota about us, well maybe the savings, even though it's never what we imagine it could be.
Too Many Steps
I don't want to jump through hoops for savings so little that the time it takes me to open an app, go to a site or click boxes has already interfered with something else I could be doing, as time...is...money.
That's the exact process we put listeners through when we tease content. Like me and my Discover Card, I don't see why they couldn't just give me the savings and simply remind me that I can save more at certain outlets.
Real teases I've heard on radio this past month include, "Why are Justin and Hailey getting married a second time? I'll have that for you in seven minutes."
"Gwen Stefani looks like she's having fun on the Voice again but coming up next I'll tell you why the Voice won't have her back next season."
"Taylor Swift tops the list of money-making entertainers again this year, which means she doesn't yet need her inheritance from the Swift Trucking company. How much did she make and who else is on the list, next after Lover, on ((Station ID))."
The Best Search Engine
For the sake of this column, I've reduced grammar and fixed phrasing, so we didn't spend time trying to fix the actual tease instead of focusing on the overall effectiveness of teasing.
In all three of these samples, the air talent has a tease that a simple search on Bing will reveal the answer to, instead of having to wait 7 to 20 minutes for the reveal; in two of those cases through a long load of commercials.
Bing is smoother than Google by the way, and at the end of this article I will tell you why.
So, making the listener go to their phones to search the result that you thought was going to hold them, does two things that work against radio stations. One, it forces the listener to jump through a hoop to get the final piece of a puzzle, whether on their phone or playing the waiting game to listen for the conclusion of the tease, which isn't going to happen. Two, it frustrates them.
I Want An Oompa Loompa NOW!
Years ago, we would patiently play the Monopoly game at McDonald's and we'd get excited when all we needed was one piece for the big money, until the people you lived with, worked with or simply put up with, were also waiting for that SAME one piece.
It was then that we realized we had been hoodwinked.
A play along ticket game at McD's wouldn't hold the American public today as it once did, simply because we have become prone to the scam. And if I can Bing about Bieber and Hailey right now in my palm, because I don't have the 7 minutes to wait, or simply don't want to because I'm impatient, then the tease has only taught me that I can get around the person who attempted to hold me.
Acceptable TeasYou know what would train the audience to tune into you longer, and potentially train them to come back down the road, too? Creative breaks that draw you in with the element of tease but delivers the reveal in the same break. Give it to them all at once. Be fun. Be an authority. If they haven't put Bieber, or Gwen or Taylor in their search engine of choice yet, but you are the person who shares the why Bieber and Hailey are getting married twice, or why Gwen won't be back on the Voice, or that Taylor and the trucking company have no relation, despite the fact that she has enough money to buy them out thousands of times over, and that she should just to squelch the rumors; then you may just find yourself someone they remember, even in the cramped space of competition that now includes streaming, gaming, apps and podcasts.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
The Discover card doesn't make me want to use them more when they remind me to sign up so I can get a special benefit from being a user, instead they remind me that they're treating me like a monkey that'll dance for a quarter on the corner street in a busy tourist trap of a city.
I'll dance the day I cut the card up not feeling any need to ever use it again or even keep it in my possession. Let's hope your listeners aren't quite yet, to that point.
If you'd like to know why Bing is the best search engine, I'm suggesting you Google it, right now.
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