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How Many RIGHTS Until You’re In the Wrong!?
October 20, 2020
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There have been words and phrases that have simmered on the outside of the mainstream, until those words gain enough saturation to reach critical mass; and usually critical mass isn’t reached until those words have made their way through the broadcast industry.
There was a time when the only people using the word, “Awesome,” were Born Again Christians, and in the off, fluke chance that one could speak, turtles. Christians proclaimed that their God was an Awesome God, while the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles got to ride skateboards and eat pizza. And if you’re a tortoise with that lifestyle, then yes, awesome is probably the right word.
But somewhere, somehow, the word began losing its rare and specific meaning, and with that, it’s actual power, as radio guys chowing down a pizza pie before an air shift began agreeing that the experience was awesome, even though it was brought to the door by a guy wearing a blue and red shirt, and even though it tasted the same as the exact pizza in towns and states over; but awesome it became and like that, a word that once had power in its rare circumstances of being used was used by everyone everywhere. A C+ on a report card was received from mom’s everywhere with, “That’s Awesome” when, at best, it was only slightly better than average.
Since the beginning of stand-up comedy, there have always been the greats, those who were incredibly good and then the hacks. And if you couldn’t discern which comic belonged in which group, at least one group would give themselves away; similar to how Fozzie Bear from the Muppets ends a punchline with ‘Wocka Wocka,’ and so you’d hear so-called comedians end a joke with the phrase, ‘Just Sayin!’
Punchlines Are For People Who Do The Work
In it’s time of reaching critical mass, radio jocks everywhere, funny or not would be heard ending a break with ‘Just Sayin.’ And unfortunately for that one, it was a sign of extreme laziness. Instead of finishing the thought with a funny ending, or creative quip; a scenario to relate to or even deeper, an analogy to draw their audience completely in, the words alone gave away that they didn’t finish the work, and probably had actually treated their whole careers this way, looking for a shortcut, instead of growing an arsenal of tools, which happens when a craftsman applies time and work into circumstance and opportunity. Just Sayin!
And now, in this state of the ‘at home’ life, we have become more likely to watching videos online, listening to podcasts and spending time watching or listening to the opinions of others more than any other time in our lives. Right?
I watch Hal Sparks a ton on Facebook videos, because of all the commentators attempting to tear apart the right or the left, Hal does one of the best jobs of knowing the way the right thinks and acts, despite him being clearly on the left. I appreciate Hal, a ton. I liked him as an actor and a host, and I think he was even on an episode of the $25,000 Pyramid once.
Regardless, nightly you can catch me tuning into Hal Sparks as he convinces himself and others to not be stupid enough to vote for Trump in 2020 and Hal uses humor and truth to make his points valid, but he started losing me after a while, and I couldn’t figure out why. Until one day I started to do an impression of him, and in my impression, I ended all my statements with the question, “Right?”
Sparking Crutch Phrases
I realized that Hal was making me uncomfortable by the exorbitant amount of times he looked to me for validation, by saying “Right!?” I remember vividly when I was talking to a financial advisor, that there was something about him I didn’t trust, and it was this same quality. He kept saying to me after every statement, RIGHT? And I found myself bobbing my head in agreement, while inside my head I was thinking, “I would NEVER give this man a dime of my money to manage, because he’s a manipulator and he knows that getting me to say RIGHT gives him the power to almost handing over my bank accounts to him.” I remember how baffled he was when I told him I had to give it more time. If you ever went on the 90-minute time share sales meeting, you know this tactic well. “Having more days to spend on vacation would be a great thing, right?” “And when you’re old and gone, you’d want to know that you set up your kids for the greatest time of their lives too, right?” When I was an 18 year old kid, I was out drinking with some guys in college and as I drove home intoxicated, there was a strip club between Chicago and my hometown of Crystal Lake and I had never been to one, but this night seemed like the right night to venture into one. I was alone and the Mickey’s Big Mouth was flapping its lips, talking to me and assured me with confidence I was making a good decision. “Nothing bad could happen, right?”
It was $10 to get in, sodas were free, and so, since all I had on me was a 10-dollar bill, this was going to be money well spent. As I sipped on my soda getting an eyeful, one of the ladies came over and began flirting heavily, and that was great, until she asked me if wanted to go in the back for a private lap dance.
She told me the price and I let her know, “oh no, I don’t have that kind of money.”
Inside Out Pockets
“Well, how much do you have she asked?” I told her, ‘none,’ that I gave my last 10 to the doorman. She walked away perturbed. Seconds later, another lady came to my table, and similar conversation took place, and this time when I told her I gave my last 10 bucks to the doorman, she got on my lap and reached into my pockets to see if I was telling the truth, and she was good, because she even checked my socks inside of my Chuck Taylors. She came up empty, and like going from 100 to slamming on the brakes, she got up and with disgust, she walked away from me. I felt violated, a tad, and while I had thought I’d leave this place using adjectives like Awesome, and since nobody else ever came back to my table after I got worked over, I felt dejected and like a loser who didn’t have a dollar to his name. Just Sayin!
The same feeling the woman gave me when she was rifling through my pockets was the same feeling I got from the financial advisor who kept getting me to agree with him, because he said RIGHT all the time, and soon Hal Sparks gave me the same feelings without having to put his hands into my front pocket, Wocka Wocka.
Listen to the way you speak to your listeners, and to your friends. If you notice that this word, which is really not a word, but a phrase, a crutch, and a question, “Right?” has entered into your everyday speak, then question whether you’re coming across as a person who would aggressively invert someone’s front pockets, and regardless of their bobbing head, think about what you’re really saying to them, or asking them rather. “Am I Right???” That’s what you’re asking them, and after a while, they may feel manhandled, manipulated, and despite the movement of their head, what you might not know is that you’ve lost them completely. Right?
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