Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check - May 20, 2011

Judgment Day: tomorrow:

On Saturday at 6 pm (local time), according to HAROLD CAMPING and his Judgment Day followers ("Family Radio"), Judgment Day will take place and the Rapture (the taking up into heaven of God's selected people) will begin. Then, later, on October 21st, the world will be destroyed by fire (7000 years from the Great Flood; 13,023 years from Creation).
So how do they get the date May 21? From the Bible, of course. Genesis 7, verses 10-11 says that on the 17th day of the second month, God shut the door of the Ark. Then, the Flood began to completely cover the entire earth. Then, you gotta know that in Peter 3, verse 8, God says one day equals one-thousand years. So the seven days in Genesis are interpreted as seven-thousand years.
You also gotta believe the Great Flood --the one where Noah, eight people and the animals that were with them survived in the ark-- happened in 4990 BC. So seven days... seven thousand years after 4990 BC... is 2011 (ya also gotta subtract one from the total since there is no "Year 0" between BC and AD).
As further proof, the Biblical theorists say May 21, 2011 is the 17th day of the 2nd month of the Biblical calendar! Remember, the flood waters also began on the 17th day of the 2nd month, in the year 4990 BC! Wow!
But wait! There's more! May 21st being judgment day, there's also a period of time where everything goes into turmoil, and the world will then come to an end on Oct 21, 2011.
Basically: Don't make plans for Christmas break yet. And when the knock at your door comes tomorrow, make sure you've done everything you need to do before answering. And tonight... party time!
Camping is dead certain that the Rapture will occur: "There's nothing in the Bible that holds a candle to the amount of information to this tremendous truth of the end of the world," he told New York magazine. "I would be absolutely in rebellion against God if I thought anything other than it is absolutely going to happen without any question."

One, small caveat:

Of course, you also have to remember that the people pushing this... HAROLD CAMPING and his Judgment Day followers ("Family Radio")... also believe that you've seen warning signs this has been coming for years, mainly "the complete degradation of the Christian church, the devastating moral breakdown of society, the re-establishment of National Israel in 1948, the emergence of the 'Gay Pride Movement', and the complete disregard of the Bible in all of society." So there.
Phoner: Of course, this is the ultimate phoner --what would you do if you knew it was your last day on Earth? Spend the day at an all-you-can-eat buffet? Buy the Porsche you've always wanted (because you ain't gonna have to make payments!)? Call up an escort service and have 'em send over a six-pack? Etc, etc.

Fast Food:

LADY GAGA is partnering with Starbucks in an over-the-top PR lovefest by the coffee chain to lure younger consumers. The chain will host Gaga-themed scavenger hunts on Facebook, Twitter and Foursquare. (Gaga has 32 million Facebook fans and over 10 million followers on her Twitter account.)
Gaga fanatics can follow her adventures and search out clues to win tons of prizes. The top winner will get special access to a Lady Gaga concert during her 2012 world tour.
The promotion lasts through Jun 03.
Editor's note: Needs a drink. Grande Red Eye Gagacino. (Maiman)

Meanwhile, at the McDonald's Corp annual stockholder's meeting, CEO JIM SKINNER announced they would be keeping RONALD McDONALD as the hamburger chain's "ambassador." "Ronald McDonald is an ambassador to McDonald's, and he is an ambassador for good," Skinner said. "Ronald McDonald isn't going anywhere."
The Chicago Tribune reports the clown mascot has been under fire by groups like Corporate Accountability International, who claimed that the company uses the clown and Happy Meal toys to foster fast food sales to children, a claim which the company denies.
On Twitter, many agreed, re-tweeting retorts like "Ronald McDonald has to retire because he is making kids fat? Really? So kids are driving themselves to McDonald's now?"
Another: "If Ronald McDonald is made to retire who the hell is gonna save us from the Hamburgler??"
Editor's note: and another, probably not for air: "Ronald McDonald isn't a sex offender, he's just a simple clown who wanted all the kids of the world to try his Big Mac. wait...what?"