Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check - Apr 26, 2017

Tampering with Mother Nature:

There is only one male northern white rhinoceros known to be left on Earth --and he just joined Tinder in hopes of finding a mate. "I don't mean to be too forward, but the fate of the species literally depends on me," the rhino, named Sudan, says on his profile. "I perform well under pressure."
Wildlife experts are using the dating app in a last-ditch breeding effort to keep Sudan's species alive --while also raising awareness about endangered animals. Time magazine says the campaign is called "The Most Eligible Bachelor in the World." The 43-year-old rhino and his last two female companions were unable to breed naturally because of issues that include old age. The Ol Pejeta Conservancy in Kenya and Tinder hope to raise $9-million dollars for research into breeding methods, including possible in-vitro fertilization, in an effort to save the species from extinction. The Tinder profile seems to be working --the conservancy's website had crashed last night. (Bartha)

Filling a need:

Meanwhile, a new website called "How I Met My Dog" matches humans with rescue dogs using the same methods as a dating site. The founders said the service is needed because about four million dogs per year are handed over to shelters and rescues.
Quotable: "And just like Tinder, you're gonna see some wieners." (A-List Comedy)

Fashion Emergency:

Today in stupid, overpriced clothing options: Upscale retailer Nordstrom is selling $425-dollar jeans that are "pre-coated" in mud. Nordstrom's description of their P.R.P.S. "Barracuda" jeans call them "Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana work wear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty." (Except, you ARE afraid of getting down and dirty if you're too cool to spend just $30 to $50 bucks on a pair of Levis and get actual mud on them. But whatever... You do you!)
While most people got a good laugh out of it, "Dirty Jobs" host MIKE ROWE was not having it and wrote an impassioned Facebook post full of outrage about how expensive pre-mudded jeans represent "our country's war on work."
Editor's note: Hey --someone worked hard torealize there are people who will pay that much money for pants mud on them!
For the record, Peoplemagazine says this is not the first pair of pants to get everyone's panties in a twist. Stupid Overpriced Pants seems to be an emerging theme for 2017. TopShop is currently selling clear plastic see-thru jeans for $100. (The see-thru part looks like the plastic upholstery covers. So you get the all warm-weather awkwardness of sweat visibly condensing and pooling around your thighs and none of ventilation provided by that other wacky wardrobe item that shows off your legs --shorts!) But Vetements tops both of them. They super-cool trendsetting label is trying to make $1,900 "zip-butt pants" a thing.
Editor's note: Zippers on your butt should never, ever be a thing! (Bartha)