Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check

The White House:

Now that HELEN THOMAS has vacated her front row-center seat in the White House briefing room, there's a growing buzz about which news organization will get it. The White House Correspondent's Association is set to meet tomorrow to try and decide who gets the spot, but it appears to be a three-way race between:
   --Bloomberg News: The only wire service not in the front row.
   --Fox News: The only network not in the front row.
   --A major daily newspaper: There are no newspapers currently in the front row, and putting a paper there might serve as a pat-on-the-back for the embattled newspaper biz.
   Editor's Note: Can you just imagine the collective progressive aneurysm if Fox gets the front seat? Do you think the association might pick Fox on purpose just to tweak the White House's press sensitivity? (Pacelli)

Filling a need:

It looks like this summer will be the worst in years for teen job seekers. CNBC reports that teens will face the worst job market in 41 years!
   Two major factors are at play here. First, a lot of jobs that would normally go to 16-to-19-year-olds will be taken by adults who are out of work, and need to generate some sort of income. Second, many spots that usually hire summer workers --like theme parks, hotels and restaurants-- might not need as much help as in past years because of less anticipated consumer spending.
   Editor's Note: Two words for this summer, mom and dad: Yard work!
   --What a depressing end to a school year that began with you getting voted "Least Likely to Succeed" on the first day of class.
   --I guess there weren't many takers for that "Depends product line tester" gig
   --I know one place that's looking: BP. They need a public relations spokesperson. (Maiman)
   Phoner: What was your first summer job? Did you love it? Hate it? Did you get any? Sorry! (Pacelli)
   Phoner #2: If you could work any teenager summer job, what would you pick? (Maiman)

Sucking the life out of the wire services:

GARY COLEMAN's widow plans to spread the late actor's ashes (wait for it...) on train tracks! SHANNON PRICE sadly told "Entertainment Tonight" that her husband had a fascination with choo choos and loved his hobby "very much." Us Weekly reports Gary's obsession even led to a few marital problems --sources say the missus was "furious" when he treated her to a lovely train set as a gift.
   Meanwhile, insiders say the Globe supermarket tabloid has purchased pictures of Gary Coleman's last moments for $10-thousand. (Lee)

The BBC says DEMI MOORE is writing her autobiography and has already signed a deal with HarperCollins to publish it in 2012. Demi, who's now 47, will reportedly rake in more than $2 million for the book, which will cover:
   --her rocky relationship with her mother, VIRGINIA KING, who died from a brain tumor in 1998.
   --her three marriages, to singer-songwriter FREDDY MOORE, actor BRUCE WILLIS, and her current husband, ASHTON KUTCHER.
   --and of course, her movie career, which started as a member of the Brat Pack, and included films like "Ghost," "Indecent Proposal" and "A Few Good Men."

Look what I found:

Scientists in York, England say they've found a Roman gladiator cemetery.
   Reuters says it might even be the world's best preserved gladiator gravesite. Archaeologists have unearthed at least 80 Roman skeletons from the site.
   How do they know they're gladiator skeletons? It probably has something to do with the fact that none of them have heads. And, they all have combat injuries and animal bite marks.
   One expert says the bites were "probably inflicted by a lion, tiger or bear --an injury which must have been sustained in an arena context."
   Editor's note: Or, on the yellow brick road. (Still)