Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check

Reality Round-Up:

The big announcement about the next season of "Dancing With the Stars" is tonight. ABC will be unveiling the lineup during "Bachelor Pad."
   So who's gonna be on? Various sources have already claimed MIKE "The Situation" SORRENTINO from "Jersey Shore" will be on, along with "The Hills'" co-star, AUDRINA PATRIDGE, BRISTOL PALIN, FLORENCE HENDERSON former "Dirty Dancing" star JENNIFER GREY, comedienne MARGARET CHO, former "Baywatch" star DAVID HASSELHOFF, singers MICHAEL BOLTON and BRANDY and former NBA player RICK FOX.
   Other rumors include former NFL QB KURT WARNER, reality TV stars ALI FEDOTOWSKY and ROBERTO MARTINEZ, World Cup player LANDON DONOVAN and "Cheers" and "Fat Actress" star KIRSTIE ALLEY.
   Kirstie, however, says she has no plans to get down-and-dirty on network television: she says she's just too "chicken." But --Kirstie "tweeted" that it could happen next season if the opportunity presents itself.

Movies that will suck (in a different way):

Warning: note obvious sexual content. 
   With news that there's a 3D porn film in the works, it probably shouldn't come as any surprise that Vivid Entertainment, which already makes a ton of Triple-X-rated films, has decided to make a number of porn movies based on popular superheroes.
   Cinematical.com says there's already (you'll pardon the expression) one in the can: "Batman XXX," in which the Caped Crusader uses all of the "adult" toys on his utility belt. DALE DaBONE (yeah --that's his 'reel name') will play Batman.

Grace notes:

JOHN LENNON's toilet seat sold for 14,740-dollars at an auction of Saturday. That's about 10-times more than Liverpool's Beatles Shop was expecting. John had the porcelain potty taken out when he moved into Tiittenhurst Park in Berkshire, England, in 1969 and replaced with a new one. The builder stored it in his shed for 40 years, but when he died, the toilet was put up for sale. (Marino)

Off the beaten path:

Dutch sci-fi fans are staging the world's first Klingon opera next month, from Sep 09 through Sep 12 in The Hague. Star Trek's warrior race is supposed to love opera and "U" has been in the making for three years. The opera will include instruments specially manufactured for the production.
   Meanwhile, the Washington Shakespeare Company, known for its offbeat treatment of classic plays, plans to offer up an entire evening of Shakespeare --in Klingon. Selections from "Hamlet" and "Much Ado About Nothing" will be performed in both English and Klingon, and the lines in each will correspond to the Bard's signature meter: iambic pentameter.
   The translations are courtesy of the Klingon Language Institute, a Pennsylvania group that published "The Klingon Hamlet" several years ago, in addition to composing the Klingon version of "Much Ado About Nothing."
   FYI: Video explaining how the Klingon language was invented.
   Editor's note: Alas poor Yorick, bljeghbe'chugh vaj blHegh! (Maiman)

Morons on Parade:

A guy from France has won the Air Guitar World Championships for the second year in a row.
   Agence France-Presse says 29-year-old SYLVAIN 'GUNTHER LOVE' QUIMENE took 1st place at the event in Finland over the weekend. 8-thousand air-guitar fans watched as Sylvain lip-synced and 'finger-synced' to the 1967 JIMI HENDRIX song Foxy Lady (video here).
   Apparently, the air-guitar virtuoso looked pretty 'foxy' himself --wearing nothing but sunglasses and tight, shiny gold pants (picture). (Still)