Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check

Top talkables of the day:

Break out the Champagne: The last of the Chilean miners emerged from the Plan B shaft at 8:58 pm (Eastern), last night. That was 54-year-old LUIS URZUA, the captain of the crew that had been trapped underground for more than two months.
   One-by-one throughout the day, each of the 33 miners was hoisted through the shaft to joyous celebrations from their friends and family. All the miners were in good health, except for one man who had pneumonia and is being treated with antibiotics, and a few who needed minor dental work.
   The miners were pulled out from the medium-strongest first, followed by the weakest and then the strongest, with Urzua, the crew's captain, last.
   The dramatic 11-hour rescue transfixed the world, becoming the internet's fifth-most read-about online event since the Akamai Net Usage Index for News began counting in 2005. The only news events to draw more people to the web were World Cup matches, Wimbledon, and Barack Obama's inauguration. (Maiman)

Sidebar:

A lot of people have been following the dilemma of one particular miner who had two different women waiting for him.
   As 50-year-old miner YONNI BARRIOS ROJAS emerged from the rescue capsule, he was greeted by mistress SUSANA VALENZUELA. His wife? No, MARTA SALINAS was quoted as saying she was glad her husband of 28 years was safe and sound but that she wouldn't be there.
   A local newspaper says Salinas apparently knew nothing of the affair until she spotted the mistress at a local prayer vigil calling out the husband's name, and a very public spat ensued.
   Rojas requested that both men be there to greet him but the wife opted off saying, "I have decency."
   It appears a divorce is next.
   Rojas served as medic during the ordeal because he has first aid training.
   Editor's note: Sounds like it'll really come in handy now. (Maiman)

Even miners love Elvis!:

You gotta love the story of 34-year-old Chilean miner EDISON PEñA, who asked for ELVIS PRESLEY music to be sent into the mine so that the trapped miners could sing along with the music to keep their spirits up.
   Now that they're all out and in good shape --as good as you can be after being trapped for two months a half-mile underground-- the folks at Graceland, along with the Memphis Convention & Visitors Bureau, have sent Edison a special invitation so he can visit the shrine.
   Expect Edison to say: "Thank-you-very-much."

Sunglasses maker Oakley donated those sunglasses to protect the miner's eyes after being down in the mine for a couple of months. They retail for $180 bucks apiece, and advertising sources claim Oakley got $41 million in advertising dollars, thanks to the mentions (including this one).

Four ways to look thinner --instantly:

Need a little lift or tuck but you've got to be at a meeting in fifteen minutes? Fear not! The fashion gurus over at Yahoo.com discovered a few tricks to look your best in no time flat!
   1. Buy a New Bra. Eighty-five percent of women are walking around in the wrong size which means "the girls" are lower than they should be. Get an expert to size you for free at a fine lingerie store.
   2. Wear a V-Neck Top. This style tricks the eye into thinking you're lean and narrow. 
   3. Invest in Shapewear. The hottest new product on the market is called "Skinny Britches" --an offshoot of Spanx that are feminine, pretty and can be layered if you need a little extra support. 
   4. Show Off Your Legs. For maximum effect make sure you're freshly shaven, throw on some sunless tanner or bronzer and wear nude heels to make those legs look even longer. (Lee)

Losers in Lockup:

How'd you like to have this happen: You show up at work and find someone else sitting at your desk, stark naked, looking at porn.
   Police in Oklahoma City say that's what an employee found when he returned from lunch: A 57-year-old naked guy sitting at the employee's desk, looking at porn on the employee's computer. (Pic)
   When the employee asked, "What are you doing here?" (they didn't know each other), the man reportedly said he was --quote-- "cleaning and trying to make some money."
   The nude dude was arrested and remains in jail. No word on what kind of office but it appears it's a small business with no other employees. The man claims he got inside because the door was unlocked.
   Editor's note: Must be a consultant. (Maiman)