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Um... Got Any Head And Shoulders?
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A guy was playing video games in his living room when his pit bulls started growling. Uh oh. So he follows them to the bathroom, where he finds a stranger caked in mud, sitting in the bathtub, wearing his football jersey. The muddy guy kept pulling $100 bills out of his wallet, pleading with the guy not to call the cops. The cops eventually tracked the suspect to another house, where he was hiding; they have no idea what he was up to, but he's looking at prison time and, oh, yeah, an immigration hold. (Oregonian)
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