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It's Not MY Fault. Arrest The Beer I Drank
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Here's the defense in that incident in which the guy leaving a bar got his ear bitten off by a stranger who attacked him: The biter claims he was so drunk he can't remember a thing. He's pleading not guilty. Wait, is that even a defense? "Your honor, I was drunk, so I'm not responsible for anything I did. Can I go now?" (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)
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