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Apparently, His Destiny
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A man was arrested for masturbating in a doctor's office in view of patients. His name? Bates. Mr. Bates. No, really. The report in the Star-Ledger actually goes there, suggesting that if he was on "Downtown Abbey," he would be Master Bates. There's also a toilet-scrubber-up-the-butt element, in case you needed more things in your head that you didn't want to think about, and a long history of exposure and public wanking, so... oh, Lord, forgive me for posting this one. (NJ Advance Media/NJ.com)
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