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Neither Carl Hiaasen Nor Dave Barry Could Make This Up
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This might be the ultimate Florida Man story, so let's follow along: A guy comes home and finds a case of his beer (!) on his garage couch (!), which led him to find a naked guy (!) asleep on a bench (!), waking the guy up by holding a paddle against his throat (!). The naked guy then grabbed a pair of the homeowner's son's dirty boxer shorts (!) that happened to be on the garage floor (!), put them on (!), and ran out the side door, where he was found by a police K-9 (!) in the bushes, still wearing the soiled boxers (!). Oh, we have one more: The homeowner joked, “Drinkin’ my Busch beer, you’ve crossed the line!”, which is a very Florida Man thing to say. And the last line of the story, referring to the naked guy, is, "Jail records show this is not his first run in with the law." Shocking. (WFLA-TV/Tampa)
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