We Mean It... You Can't Beat Our Meat

A grocery worker accused of... well, let's hold that part for a second and note that he's turned down a plea bargain. Okay, now, for the charges: He's accused of masturbating at the supermarket meat counter. He allegedly asked a customer from behind the mirrored glass if she was finding everything, and she told police he was, you know, handling his meat. And he allegedly told the cops that his penis was indeed outside his pants at the time. He turned down five years of probation and registration as a sex offender. (Boulder Daily Camera)

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