A Feather or a BRICK?

“Difficulties come when you don't pay attention to life's whisper. Life always whispers to you first, but if you ignore the whisper, sooner or later you'll get a scream” - Oprah Winfrey

Do you ever find yourself doing something that doesn’t serve you over and over again expecting different results? Yes, it’s the definition of insanity, however everyone has a pattern in life that gives us comfort, but in the end is destructive. For instance, you’ve been struggling with your weight most of your life. You allow your emotions to guide your eating patterns more than your mind does. When something stressful comes up, you run to the pantry to binge on bags of chips, cookies or snacks. Similarly, someone with a drinking problem runs to the bar or pours a drink, or a smoker lights up a cigarette, or a gambler dashes to the casino. Whether intentional or not, these patterns can lead to personal or social consequences. The funny thing is we are always getting a message from the universe. Pay attention and listen to your life. Sometimes it whispers the message for change like a feather. It shows up in the form of irritation or frustration. Oftentimes we ignore those messages and sleepwalk through our days regurgitating these old patterns and habits that don’t serve us. Suddenly, or so it seems, you get knocked upside the head with a brick in the form of a crisis. Change happens in two ways. You make a conscious CHOICE that it’s time to tackle the issue, or something from the outside forces you. For a smoker it’s a cancer diagnosis, for an obese person it’s a drug therapy that is exorbitantly expensive, or a diabetic its amputation, for the drinker it’s a DUI. For a gambler, it’s losing your life savings, your house, and your family. Fear not – dark patches are the universe pointing us in a new direction.

Here are some things to consider to curtail self-destructive behavior:

• Identify patterns and define your tendencies. Compile a list of all the self-defeating behaviors you would like to change. It all starts with awareness. Once you are aware, you cannot be unaware!
• Understand why you engage in self-destructive behaviors. They do serve a purpose or you wouldn’t be doing it in the first place...fitting in, feeling insecure, wanting to relax or reduce stress.
• Determine the consequences if you continue the behavior...here’s where that brick comes into play.
• Journal your behavior. Notice what triggers you to drink, smoke, overeat, gamble etc. There is always a catalyst.
• Accept responsibility for your choices. Here is where real change begins. Once you know your choices have created your reality, you can decide to shift.
• Now that you have awakened your awareness, practice making alternative decisions and see how things transform.
• Seek assistance from a professional. A therapist, support groups, a life coach or a hypnotist.

Transformation happens on the other side of surrender. Real change is challenging, but once you identify yourself as a sober, non-smoking, thinner, wealthier person, or whatever it is for you, magic things will start to happen. I hope this serves you as it has for me. After all, it’s always an Inside-Project.