Don’t Be Caught Asleep At The Wheeler
October 28, 2015 at 12:51 PM (PT)
So, what if ZACH GALIFIANAKIS cut a spoof Country album disguised as the character named WHEELER WALKER JR. and you received a detailed press kit – would you fall for it? The tipoff may be the engrossing --- and gross - bio, penned by somebody named COL. JOHN BOOKER MONTAGUE – a self-described “official Colonel of the great state of KENTUCKY.” Wow! More official than Colonel SANDERS? The other tipoff is the brilliantly and complete awfulness of the first single, on every possible level.
MONTAGUE profanely describes WALKER JR.as a foul-mouthed, plays-by-his-own-rules artist who “Raises all kinds of hell” and whose antics cost him record deals with CAPITOL, ARISTA, RCA and GIANT, among others. WALKER JR.’s debut single – the title of which is unfit to be printed in full here, but the initials of which are “F.Y.B.” (Think on that for a minute) is part of what the Colonel says describes as, “The filthiest Country album in history.” Well, the Colonel is correct.
A hat, beard and dark glasses conceal much of GALIFIANAKIS’ er, um, WALKER JR’s looks – if not his stereotypical, massive rug of chest hair -- but check out the photo mashup attached and see if the resemblance isn’t eerily familiar. There was a contact email listed, but we reached out and have received no reply confirming our suspicions – so far. Hmnnnn.
After a brainstorming/detective session with CUMULUS Country KSCS and KPLX/DALLAS OM JR SCHUMANN, we have uncovered the comedy mind behind WALKER JR. He's BEN HOFFMAN, of COMEDY CENTRAL's short-lived 2013 "The BEN Show." After checking the bio on the WALKER JR. TWITTER account, we found it to be the title of a song HOFFMAN performed on his show – a title which we, once again, cannot repeat for fear of offending virtually every human on planet earth. Still no official response from the WHEELER camp; however, WHEELER himself did not appreciate our assumption that he was someone else (named ZACH), replying on TWITTER, "I'm WHEELER effing WALKER effing JR." So, there's THAT!