Internalize To Win
March 5, 2013
If you want to experience major success, you have to lose one very big and bad habit: EXTERNALIZING. What is externalizing? It's very simple. It's blaming others for your problems. Externalizing is the act of processing your setbacks in your personal life (and the resulting "failure" experienced by you due to those setbacks) as someone else's fault.
LOVING THE BLAME GAME
Humans love to assign blame in order to make themselves feel better and raise their own self-esteem. Most books about success discuss this in great detail. Comparing themselves to others and seeing that they are not measuring up, they begin to take on a victim approach instead of a proactive solution approach. They'll go with "He did it," "it's her fault," "my industry caused this...", "she made me mad," "it doesn't work," "he caused me to...." or any of 10 million other excuses to explain away their failure, and blame it on someone or something else, never to take full responsibility themselves.
Of course, as the great authors teach us, this is a negative feedback loop, because by doing this, the person is off the hook to develop a plan to actually achieve their next success - because they can more easily and with less work, just blame their current position on someone else. With the pressure of having to work for success off their back, they continue to blame and slip further into failure. No need to set goals, no need to achieve, since they already are defeated and can point to WHY they are defeated. There are so many ways to pin your problems, setbacks and failures on others, on situations, and on fantasy that it is literally mind boggling.
Here is another eye-opening tidbit, which is at the root cause of most "failure:" Nearly everyone who complains that they are struggling, upon examination of the issue, will show a consistent pattern of being engaged in some degree of externalization. Talk to a person, and you can see what level of externalization they are engaged in: 5%, 20%, 50%, 100%. It's somebody else's fault they have no money, can't achieve a goal, have a terrible job, are in a bad industry, can't make anything positive happen ... you name an excuse and it will be employed.
WAKE UP AND WIN
Here's the wake-up call: All of the great success authors, from Napoleon Hill to Dale Carnegie to Earl Nightingale to Brian Tracy, will tell you the truth if you will listen to them. You are responsible. You are in life today WHERE you have decided to be. Your life is a culmination of the thoughts you have placed in your head (through your choice) and have acted on through the years. You are in control of your thoughts. Blaming others and coming up with excuses of why you CAN'T is not a strategy to advance. It's a strategy to continue getting what you got in the past - more failure.
The exact OPPOSITE of Externalization is Internalization. Internalization is the act of internalizing situations and failures and using them to your benefit rather than blaming things outside of yourself.
The first step of success is the ability to take responsibility, stop blaming others, other things and situations. The old saying is "If it is to be, it is up to me." Don't like your industry? Change industry. Don't like your boss? Go work for a different boss. Bad conditions? Find a way around them. You get the idea. Make it happen. Take control of your life, success, and ultimately your results. Don't even consider making an excuse or blaming something. Just build a plan and set it in motion.
It's easy to do. Everyone and every situation you come in contact with is not someone or something to be BLAMED; they are someone or something to be THANKED for what you can learn from them. Unless someone wants to teach you how to be a criminal, they probably have something of value to teach -- and may not even be aware of it. You have to be willing to learn from everyone and every situation, and then use that knowledge to your benefit, taking responsibility for your actions and striking out on a positive note to greater achievement.
THE KEY TO SUCCESS
You learn positive lessons from people. Look at everyone you come in contact with as a person who has a message to teach you. Learn the lesson, make yourself smarter, and move on (and up). They have helped you. You also learn positive lessons from what might look like the WORST situations initially. It's all about HOW you process the situation. Again, just like learning from a person, learn the lesson, make yourself smarter, and move on (and up).
By eliminating externalization, taking responsibility for your success, and moving ahead and around obstacles, you too can unleash the power from inside of you for ultimate success!