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That’s Not His Wife …
March 3, 2020
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If aliens from another planet landed and earth’s work sectors were evaluated on the merit of importance to mankind, radio would probably fall into the “not necessary pile.” We’re willing participants in a business fused at the hip by art, business, and a touch of crazy.
With our Worldwide Radio Summit coming up, it got me to thinking about how much fun it is every year to find out what’s new and mingle with my peers. The mingling always leads to “can you believe that happened stories.” This week my mind flashed back on two incidents that still make me laugh.
Incident 1:
Are We Being Robbed …?
A station I was working at shared a floor with an insurance company. Our prize closet was in the hallway across from our station, adjacent to the insurance company and the elevators. It was a Saturday night and I was headed to grab something from Arby’s before my 7p shift and I heard a loud noise coming from the prize closet. I thought something had fallen. While I stood there waiting for the elevators, I heard another noise coming from the closet. My curiosity got the best of me and I went over and put my ear to the door
Somebody Is Inside …
I thought I heard movement inside and slowly tried the doorknob, it was locked. I went back inside the station and told the afternoon personality that I thought someone was trying to steal from the prize closet. We both headed across the hallway to the closet and tried to figure out what was going on. He heard something move inside too and we both headed back inside the station and called the police.
911 …
The police got there quickly, knocked on the door, identified themselves, pulled guns, and then we all heard a small click as the door unlocked. The police told us to stand back as the door slowly opened. False alarm, it was not a couple of armed robbers, it was our 5’3 station receptionist and her friend standing there with fear and tears in their eyes. Apparently, the PD had told her she could go into the closet after hours to get a prize for which the deadline for pickup had passed. When the police asked her why she just didn’t identify herself to one of us, she said, “I was afraid my friend and I would get in trouble.”
Incident 2:
That’s Not His Wife …
There is always one air staffer that you can’t figure out how they made it as far as they have. In this case we will call this person Jessie, because he’s still working in radio. It was a station Christmas party, and everyone was having a good time until Jessie arrived late with a woman who was not his wife.
Whoops …
We all knew his wife and as far as we knew they were still together. Dinner started and our GM was a bit tipsy and she wondered over to the table where they were sitting. Just as the GM was about to address Jessie, and whom she presumed was his wife, I gently took the GM by the arm and led her away. I whispered, “that the woman is not his wife.” The GM said, “What an assh***.”
The Ladies Intervened …
The next day I called him in for a meeting, but before he could get to my office, all the office female staffers hauled him into the conference room and closed the door. From what I heard later; the ladies threatened to cut off his manhood if he ever pulled a stunt like that again at an office party. Needless-to- say, he was quite contrite upon exiting the conference room.
It’s Story After Story …
Although radio has changed, the one thing that hasn’t is the cast of characters and radio stories that many of us have. We’ve all seen our share of strangeness. I’ve shared, now it’s your turn, I’d love to hear some of your stories. See at our conference March 25th, 26th, and 27th.
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