Why Jealousy Can Be Awesome!
March 15, 2016
Over the course of my radio career, I witnessed firsthand how ugly people can get when they start to experience jealousy. It can manifest in different ways. Typically, it's jealousy over a competitor's ratings. I've seen morning shows get jealous over the salary that another show in the building was making. I've spent more time than I can count talking air talent off the ledge when someone was getting more endorsement opportunities than they were.
Even in my own life, there were times where I acted really petty and awful because of jealousy. I remember being a finalist for a big programming job early in my career. When I didn't get it, I started saying horrible things about the guy who beat me out to anyone who would listen, trying to ease my own pain of "not being good enough" by tearing the other person down.
As much as I'd like to say that I've become an enlightened master as I've gotten older, I'm still human and prone to jealousy, although I'm far more mindful about how I process it. While networking at a conference last week, I found myself feeling envious of a much younger entrepreneur who had created a million-dollar business relatively quickly. This time, I made a conscious effort to give my jealousy a new meaning.
Rather than judge the other guy for being an "entitled millennial," or using his success as a measuring stick to judge myself and how my business is "not good enough," I took a different approach. I simply asked myself two questions.
What if this guy is really just showing me my own potential that I haven't fully realized? What if he's simply showing me a part of myself that would be powerful for me to own?
Making this shift created a massive change. Instead of feeling inferior to someone 12 years my junior who makes way more money than me, I asked for his business card. I asked if he could show me the tricks he used to build his business into a profit machine.
The funny part is he was more than happy to share.
How many times do we take the person we are jealous of and mentally build them up to be our enemy? Or even worse, we smile to their face, make them a "frenemy," and then talk crap about them when they aren't around?
What if we could flip the script and look at them as a teacher who can help us get where we want to go?
Success always leaves clues. When you can learn to model the people who have what you want, you can ultimately achieve the highest levels of success that they have.
Did another jock get the major market gig that you wanted? Reach out to them and ask to listen to the aircheck they sent to see if they presented themselves differently than you did. Jealous of the account executive who locked down the million dollar annual? See if they will share their presentation with you.
No, this doesn't mean you are being an imposter or a "copycat." While you might use elements of their strategy, the way you implement it into your own life will still be different. Why? Because it's coming from you and it will be infused with your unique talent, energy, and delivery.
So moving forward, can you dial down the envy and turn up the celebration? The magnificence you see in that other person is only a reflection of the magnificence that is already within you. OWN IT!
When you change your perception, you realize that the smallness of your ego mind isn't real. But you can use the constriction of those negative feelings to create a positive expansion within yourself!
Want more free self-development tips delivered to your inbox every Sunday? Sign up and join my community of Creative Souls for FREE at www.creativesoulcoaching.net