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How 2M Views on TikTok Ruined My Christmas
January 7, 2023
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I had the perfect gift for my wife, Sarah Lee, this Christmas. She’s been talking about upgrading jewelry, so I’ve had my antenna up for that, because I’m analog. My wife will tell you that I will give away our last dollar if there’s a person in need, so on this day, my generosity was met with the most perfect transaction of two men who were complete strangers.
I’m coming onto an exit ramp and there’s this well dressed man flagging me down to stop near his shiny, prestigious luxury SUV, and because he didn’t have ripped clothes and no car, I was eager to get out and see what was up. I’ve been down on my luck before, but this guy had hit the trifecta of traffic issues, from a flat tire to a gas tank on E, and get this, just that morning his credit card stopped working.
I told him I could get a tank of gas for him as there was a gas station just to the right of this exit. He lit up and hugged me and patted me so hard the alarm on my, not as nice, Hyundai Santa Fe started going off. As I reached into my pocket to shut it off, a 50-dollar bill came out with the key fob.
“Please take my ring,” he said.
This Run In Was Gold
I refused, but he told me he was in the jewelry business, and maybe it was the Adderall, but I cut him off midsentence and exclaimed, “I’m looking to buy some jewelry for my wife.”
His light started shining even brighter, as he got a smile on his face so big, it reminded me of the Cheshire cat, or the Grinch or the Joker from Batman, but I suppressed that so that I wouldn’t be so rude in my bigoted judgements.
He happened to have boxes of jewelry in his SUV, so he ended up saving me the time and efforts of going to a mall, so you better believe I gave him all the cash I had. My wife was about to have the best Christmas ever.
Later that day she comes home complaining about some guy who tried to scam her on her way home. I was wrapping the last necklace at that time and told her how sorry I was and as a caring husband reminded her to always be aware of her surroundings.
Vents Don’t Drown Out Venting
I could hear her through the walls venting about her run in, so I left her be, to cool off, and she kept on over and over, so much so, that her dinner was very cold when she had finally come back out.
The next day I’m watching the news and I couldn’t believe it, there was a picture of my jewelry guy and the news was profiling him like he was a bandit, and then, the shock of my life, the news talks about a woman whose TikTok video has more than 2 million views warning people about this man, and I recognized the voice, like a lot, like more than maybe an ex, but maybe someone closer, maybe a neighbor and I lift my head to see my wife on TV. She’s going off on this guy and says specifically, “don’t stop for this man, do not give him a dime, and don’t fall prey to his jewelry scam either.”
And with that, my wife and TikTok ruined my Christmas.
I took the jewelry to the local pawn shop. And I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I just don’t.
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