-
Hollywood Actor Assaulted Me: Video Proof
February 7, 2023
Have an opinion? Add your comment below. -
Comedic actor Ravi Patel was thrust into Hollywood demand, when his bit part as a call center operator in the movie Transformers (2007), stole the scene from Shia LeBeouf, highlighted by the clip LeBeouf shared on the Tonight Show.
However, it was only three or so years earlier when Ravi, then unknown, sucker punched me in the kidney, which was my introduction to Salonpas Pain Relief Patches. Fortunately for me, I have video proof.
Ravi’s career has been solid and steady, never with a lull, and that continues today, since his new Fox TV series, Animal Control starring Joel McHale, premieres this month. (Thursday February 16th)
If you’re wondering if I am seeking damages from Ravi, most definitely, and while I’m at it, I’m probably going after the company that owns Salonpas too for the crap I had to endure. Here’s how this ordeal went down, and I’m going to name drop a lot, as it makes me feel almost as successful as Ravi Patel.
Put on the Spot
Danny Trejo’s agent, Gloria Hinojosa, from Amsel, Eisenstadt, Frazier & Hinojosa called me into her office, based only from a headshot taken by Hollywood’s best photog, Randall Slavin. She asked me to improvise a commercial for Burger King on the spot, only giving me the details that it was for a new turkey burger that was selling for 99 cents.
I gobble gobbled my way through the premise, as if I were the turkey that would be used for the eating pleasure, being appalled that I was undervalued, knowing certainly that on my worst day I was worth more than a dollar -- and while Gloria didn’t give anything away as for my performance, she rang my phone the next week and said, “I know you have other agents who have interest in you, but it would be an honor to represent you.”
The other agents she was referring to, must have been secret agents, because I knew nothing about how in demand I was. Regardless of my extreme talents so large these agents were discussing my future over power lunches without my knowledge, I almost cut her off, replying, after the word honor, with “YESSSS, I’ll sign, I can be there in 6 minutes.” And I think I would have made it there that fast, even though from the All Access offices in Malibu, where I worked at the time, to Wilshire Boulevard was a good hour haul. Instead, I improvised that I was a cool turkey and only replied with, “It would be MY honor, as well.”
Gloria sent me on my first audition only days after I had finalized all of my paperwork, and it was for a commercial of a company that wasn’t yet known in the U.S., and I found out quickly that those secret agents must have known something about me that I didn’t, because after only my first audition, I booked the job, becoming one of those rare “working actors” in Hollywood.
I was so nervous on my way to the set, that I thought I could poop my pants, literally, so upon arrival my first visit was to the bathroom, unfortunately, a one-seater, that was occupied at the time, so I had to wait, and wait, until the director called my name to shoot the first scene. Now, I had to train my mind to think I didn’t have to go at all.
Punching a Whoopee Cushion
That was, until actor Ravi Patel put on brass knuckles and with all his might hit me in the lower back, forcing out a little air; the reminder that “oh yeah,” I must go to the bathroom. But we weren’t done with the shots yet, so now I had to hope and pray that air was the worst thing that would happen to me on this set.
I endured the Ravi Patel beatings, and the director called a short break while they set up the next scene. I was relieved. Well, I was about to be, as I could see the door to the once occupied bathroom, now wide open. I ran in to do my thing, but as I readied my clothing, I noticed floating in the toilet, someone else’s stank. No problem, I’ll flush. As I did, I hear people outside the door yelling, “Don’t flush the toilet.” Too late!
So now, nature was delayed again, and sure enough, the director called us all back to the set. The next opportunity for that bathroom was closed off by yellow tape; and indeed a crime had taken place there.
Despite the fact that I was holding back something the entire shoot, we managed to accomplish the mission and the final product would soon start airing, as friends of mine who watched ESPN, started texting, calling and emailing asking if they just saw me on ESPN. Wagman shoots, he scores!!
Hey, maybe I’m no Shia LeBeouf, but in this commercial I do have my shirt off, revealing that I am neither shy nor buff, but Shia and I have this in common; Ravi Patel stealing the scene. At least Joel McHale knows what’s coming his way. Shia and I had no clue.
-
-