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Work Marriage
October 12, 2022
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There are so many dynamics when it comes to the “work marriage” topic. But for the sake of this column, I am going to focus on the three most common and most challenging examples in the industry. Just because lately, while the industry is in an uproar, and things are constantly changing without warning or preparation, I am often witnessing a lot of “work marriages” whose couples are currently separated and/or on the brink of divorce, and as a consultant, or manager, the first thing you become is a marriage counselor. The more I work with podcast talent, the more I realize it exists in that world too.
First, there is the morning show “work marriage.” I have witnessed some good ones, but mostly, I have witnessed some really bad ones, and sadly, a lot of them ended in an ugly divorce. That’s not to say that it isn’t possible to succeed when operating in a dysfunctional marriage, but at some point, the kids grow up, or someone cheats, or someone just decides they can’t take it anymore right?
Then there’s the Program Director/Talent “work marriage.” That’s a dynamic where the talent doesn’t respect the PD for whatever reason, or vice versa, and no matter how hard each side tries, it doesn’t seem to work out, and most likely the best option is to wait it out until both sides swallow the pill and determine it wasn’t meant to be. One of them is going to have to go, and regardless of the circumstances, if the choice is an ultimatum for the boss, instead of an “it’s time for me to move on,” don’t be surprised, no matter how important you think you are, if things don’t go in your favor.
Then there’s the most volatile one, the Program Director/Sales Manager “work marriage.” That’s the one where two people who have nothing in common and most likely, don’t have common goals are forced to be together in a way that is productive and profitable for the entire family. But because you are so different, and unwilling to compromise, it’s nothing but constant disagreements and arguments in front of the kids, and sometimes the kids’ friends or their parents. Not good.
The majority of these circumstances happen when the marriage is or was an “arranged” one. That happens a lot in the radio business. I can’t even tell you the number of times I was hired by someone, told I would report to someone, and then found out, the day it was announced, that I would be reporting to someone else, or that I would be getting a new boss. I have even had people lie to my face and tell me “No, you’re not getting a new boss,” and then bamb! Literally the next business day, guess what?” A new boss.
Let’s face it, there are some things you can’t control. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have to make a conscious professional effort to try and make things work. “Work marriages” are those we must make work in order to do business, get ratings and make money. They are arrangements that we should not take personal. There is sometimes a chain of command in place in these circumstances must be respected. That doesn’t mean that you should allow yourself to be disrespected or not try to try to have your voice be heard. But it does mean that you should handle yourself in a professional manner, despite the behavior of your manager.
Yes, I understand that there are MANY consultants, and PD’s and mangers out there that are so completely out of touch with the real world that it is difficult to take them seriously. Or that have zero people/managerial skills whatsoever. But I know from personal experience that there are some talent out there that think that being “good talent” is something that immediately happens the first day on the job. Especially podcast talent who have never done a day of radio in their lives. Radio is a very disciplined craft, and it is measured by an almost impossible ratings system that even one person can impact on behalf of thousands of listeners. That is not the case with podcasting, which has a very specific audience, who are much more patient with talent than in radio and can listen to their favorites when it’s convenient for them.
My point of all this is that when we work together on teams, we spend a lot of time together, which is why it sometimes feels like a team member can become a “work partner.” If you can’t get along with that work partner, you have to try everything. Both of you. You both must acknowledge there is a problem and a breakdown in communication. And you both must want to work on the relationship and even entertain couple’s therapy. If there isn’t a mutual desire to make things work for the family and the kids, it’s going to end up blowing up in everyone’s faces. If you can’t get through the tough times, even with a little help, then at a certain point, someone (or both of you) is going to have to decide to move on.
But the truth is, there is a lot that can be done to save a good “working marriage” between two people who want and deserve success and happiness. Like a good love marriage, it just requires a little work. On the other hand, if your married to a jerk, suck it up, make a decision and get out as professionally as possible. Like any divorce, or challenging moment in life, it will not be easy in the beginning, but in the long run, it will be better for you and the rest of the family.
Bottom line: keep your dirty laundry private, don’t send email grenades, be professional, show some respect, work hard to communicate well, and act like the grown ass adult that you are.
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