10 Questions with ... Joe Buchanan

BRIEF CAREER SYNOPSIS:

Ask anyone who's programmed music in the Christian radio business longer than five years to name the top three MDs at the format, and Joe Buchanan's name is going to be dropped in that list. And not just because he's so likable and accessible, in spite of his schedule. When it comes to making music decisions for New Life Media Network's audience across most of Illinois, Western Indiana and Northern Missouri, he's a meticulous researcher, prayerful and a great ear for what songs will have the greatest impact on "Lisa."

Joe's a great music mind, but his personal story is even more compelling. In light of the much-anticipated theatrical release of the "I Can Only Imagine," this Friday, it's quite remarkable how closely Joe's personal adversity growing up-and beauty that proceeded those ashes-aligns with Bart Millard's character in the major-motion film.

1) Will you please share the career path in radio that's taken you to where you are now?

Music had a profound impact on my life from an early age. Because of how it affected me, I always wanted to share it with others. When I was in my late teens I started a DJ company. I used it primarily as an opportunity to show other teens that there was a positive alternative to the mainstream music they were listening to. I would DJ roller skating rinks, block parties, dances, all kinds of events. During these events I would work in music from Christian alternative artists and almost without fail, I'd leave a list of artists and album titles with several teens before the night was through. That early DJ work lead me into more professional settings like weddings, work parties, holiday celebrations, etc. While I was growing this company, I was also managing mainstream record stores and eventually a Christian Music store. It was while working there that I met my first on-air personality. This encounter led to my very first radio job Summer 1995 as a part-time weekend announcer for WQFL/WGSL radio in Rockford, IL. I spent seven years at that station before moving to New Life Media (based in Illinois) in December 2002, where I became Music Director and afternoons on-air.

2) What (and/or who) would you attribute to your discovery and connection to Christian music?

Great question. There was an older guy, Carl, our family knew who invited me to a Michael W. Smith concert when I was barely a teenager. It was the first concert I ever attended and was completely blown away. When Michael played, "Too Many Times" (Yes, I know I'm dating myself now), it genuinely moved me and I just had to hear more. Carl made me a bootleg copy of Michael's "Project" album and I didn't know it, but those songs would serve as a light house through some of the most difficult things yet to come in my life. I wouldn't surrender my life to Christ until years later, but I credit that single album as playing a critical role in Christ drawing me to Himself.

3) What role did music play in your life growing up?

I honestly don't know where I would be without music. It was my escape growing up. I was always drawn to music that had something to say. Music that spoke into the things I was experiencing. When I discovered Christian music, I was blown away by this idea that pretty much all of it had something to say. As Christian music impacted my life song by song, this desire to share music with others grew beyond my ability to suppress it. I begged God to allow me to speak into other's lives, to love, encourage, and serve them through music.

4) You mentioned music as your "escape"...what were you predominately escaping from as a young man?

I spent a lot of my childhood in foster homes and found myself in very abusive situations. I grew up not wondering if I was loved, but rather, why I wasn't. I knew something must be wrong with me and living with the burden of that truth led to a sad and miserable existence. At eight years old, I was given a little yellow AM-Transistor radio. It was my first handheld device and from the very first song I heard, provided an escape into another world where I felt understood. That little device was able to transport me to another space and time where I could begin to dream about a different life.

5) What or who was your greatest fear during that season?

I spent my childhood in a constant state of fear. I'd watch my brother sustain the same abuse I received and I worried about him constantly. I was also constantly afraid to say or do anything, but also afraid to not say or do something. I never knew what the right thing to do or say was and, it never seemed to matter anyhow. Through my late teens, I really didn't expect to still be alive in my 20s. I had come to this resolve that a violent incident would eventually end my life. It scared me to death, but I couldn't escape the inevitability. Again, in my mind, I knew that I knew that it was my fault, but could never figure out to fix it.

6) That said, who/what helped rescue you from that fear?

God sent quite a few people into my path to help me. Carl, who took me to that Michael W. Smith concert. Lori Ann, who was a nurse on the hospital floor I was in after I tried to end my life when I was 15. She was only on my floor for one night, but when her shift was over, she walked into my room and said, "You look like someone who really needs the Lord," handed me a Gideon Bible and left. It was that night that I surrendered my life to Christ. Mike was the counselor I was assigned after being released from the hospital. He was a Christian who had a similar story to mine. God used him in a huge way to bring healing: tender when he needed to be, but also tough when I needed that. Nancy was the mom of a girl I liked and was able to see past my parent's facade to what was really going on inside that house. She provided me a place to live after my parents disowned me when I turned 18. God used her in a big way to bring me to place of desiring forgiveness for those who had done so much damage in my life.

7) How has your identity and self-worth been most challenged and most affirmed through your story?

I still struggle at times knowing I'm loved. It's a content battle to remind myself that my worth is not tied-up in what I accomplish...or don't. I still find myself trying to earn God's favor and love. He's also been so gracious and patient with me as I journey through the healing process. Forgiveness was a huge turning point. When I was 18, after fighting God and Nancy about it for the better part of a year, I decided to trust God enough to do what He was asking. I wouldn't be here today without that decision. I was so bitter and becoming a person I didn't want to be. Another huge turning point in my life happened a few years later, when I met my wife, Tara. She was only 16 at the time and I was almost 21. But this girl was incredible. Beautiful. Loved God and people. And I was drawn to her immediately.

I initially thought she was way too young to date, but found myself wanting to be around her. We started dating 6 months after we met and one day as I was driving over to her house, I was thanking God for bringing her into my life. As I was doing this, God reminded me of how special she was to Him. How she had whole chapters of the Bible memorized. How she would walk to school instead of taking the bus so she could spend more time with Him. How everyone-and I mean everyone she knew-loved her. I began to grow defensive. Because I believed that God was reminding me of these things so I would know this girl was special to Him. I already knew that. But I thought God was going to say, "If you ever hurt this girl, You'll have to deal with me!"

So, as I drove I grew more and more defensive. Finally, (and it wasn't audible, but might as well have been), I felt this impression on my heart in a very stern way - "YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER, RIGHT?" I (because I knew God's next words were going to be-"If you ever hurt this girl you're going to have to deal with me") responded immediately, "Yes, God. I know how you feel about her!" In my mind, if there was anyone on the planet that was special to God, it was Tara. She meant the world to Him. I continued, "Please don't let me hurt her..." and I was about to finish by saying, "...because I don't want to have to deal with you."

But before I could say those words, God interrupted me and spoke something to my heart my flesh could have never thought of or jumped to in a million years. God said this, "That's how I feel about you, Joe." I couldn't see a thing. I have never wept like that. Joy swept over me and I literally felt an embrace from God. I remember trying to say, "Really?" But no words would come out. It took everything I had to just get the car to the side of the road. I sat there and wept. In that moment, I realized I had never felt loved a single moment in my entire life until then. That moment changed the whole trajectory of my life. Everything changed. It's why I do what I do. I so deeply believe this-if we knew how loved we really are, there is nothing we couldn't accomplish for the Lord. All anxiety, worry and fear would melt away. Yes, I still struggle with those things and still wonder why I'm loved, but it doesn't take me long to come back to that day and remember just how real it was. My prayer is that everyone would have that kind of encounter with God.

8) How have your experiences shaped you into the husband and father you are now?

It has built a strong sense of intentionally within me. Being intentional to tell them I love them-and not just that I love them, but why they are loved. To be invested in who they are and where they are going and what God is doing in them and through them. To learn from them. I want each of them to know how valuable they are-not because of them or me, but because of Him. I will occasionally ask Tara, "Do you think the kids know I love them?" And she'll respond, "Joe, the thought has never crossed their minds." I fail miserably as a father and a husband. There are so many things I wish I thought and did differently. Some of it is my own selfishness and some of it is the scars that are so hard to overcome from my past. But God has richly blessed me with Tara who balances me out so well and has used her to help grow me and bring healing. God has also helped me better understand that life is a journey. I should be different today than I was yesterday because I'm growing. It's a process.

9) Considering your own story, how did you resonate with the film "I Can Only Imagine" as you watched it for the first time?

So many similarities. I've seen a few films like this and can't always resonate because there is something off in how the character responds or how it's portrayed. For me, it just wasn't true to the things I felt and believed. "I Can Only Imagine" felt much more real. I appreciated the work they did to correctly articulate some of those hard-to-express-on-film feelings. It's a difficult movie to watch because of what it stirs up in me, but the redemption story was so well told, the payoff is worth it. I left that film feeling more encouraged than when I went in. I believe God is going to use this movie to bring healing to countless lives. I resonated so well with the forgiveness theme. I truly believe that forgiveness with a key ingredient to the healing process. Without it, the healing process completely stalls out and growth ceases to happen. I have talked with so many listeners over the years who were stuck and couldn't figure out why. Until we began to talk about forgiveness. It's not easy, but so worth it. I can't recommend this film highly enough.

10) It's safe to assume most people will have strong feelings walking out of the theaters after watching this film. Why are stories like yours and Bart's important to share with others?

I believe it will help people know they're not alone. Walking through painful and traumatic circumstances can isolate a person. Knowing there are others who also went through painful and difficult things can help one feel less lonely. Bring them to a place where they can reach out for help. Also, when you see someone else overcome something you believe is insurmountable, it can be so encouraging and inspiring. Especially when the truth is well told. This truth the Bible speaks of-that there is a God. He is for you. He loves you more deeply than you'll ever truly know this side of heaven. And with Him, all things are possible. Including the mountains of grief, pain and hurt standing in our way.