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I Don't Watch The Grammys, But Maybe You Do
December 7, 2007
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"Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing?"
-- Samuel GoldwynThis week the Grammy nominees were announced.
I stopped paying attention to the Grammys a long time ago.
Sure, that Milli Vanilli win for Best New Artist Of The Yea' might have had something to do with it, but I think I just started to find the whole event terribly boring. The American public must have, too. When pitted against "American Idol," the show was clobbered in the ratings. The fact that the public finds the karaoke singers on "American Idol" more entertaining than the artists who perform on the Grammys speaks volumes about this doesn't it?
Maybe it's just that Frank Zappa was right when he said, "All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff."
Maybe it's just that the comments of the nominees about their being so honored "just to be nominated" are a bit disingenuous. Come on, you guys, you really do want to win, admit it.
Maybe it's just that the "Red Carpet" pre-show is just bad television. Although, will we ever forget that swan dress thing Bjork wore one year? And speaking of Bjork, will someone please tell me who she is? Did she actually have a hit record? If so, what was it, and can you hum a few bars? Based on the way she dresses I always thought she was part of some Cirque Du Soleil troupe.
Of course, those speeches given by the winners don't help, either. I doubt very seriously if God really watches the show, but it seems like a whole bunch of people think so because they thank Him (Her?...must consider political correctness these days) when they hold the little trophy in their hands and the overhead stage lights shine on all that gold jewelry they're wearing.
Let's face it: We really aren't watching the show when they are giving out the Grammys for Best Spoken Word album, in the Polka category, Album Notes category, and all those other categories we don't care about. But, let's be thankful for those categories. Every awards show has to have these so we can have bathroom breaks, make popcorn, grab a beer, and use the remote to make sure we're not missing something better on other channels.
I'm hoping there is some comedy in the show this year. If Amy Winehouse wins 'Record Of The Year' for "Rehab," I'm hoping the presenter will do at least five minutes on that alone. Others can then do one-liners about it through the entire broadcast.
George Lopez already started by saying backstage after Amy's six nominations, "Usually when I'm high and drunk, I'm not very good, but Amy has it down to where she can get a good buzz going and be very creative. That's quite enviable. Could somebody wake her up this afternoon around six (o'clock) and tell her?"
I don't expect Amy will be there to pick up any awards if she does win. She's too busy trying to get her proverbial you-know-what together so she can do her next gig without slurring her words. Talented as she is, Amy is no poster child for a Grammy winner. Actually, she could never be a poster child for anybody considering the excessive tattoos on her almost anorexic frame.
On the other side of the coin, Amy's "Back To Black" album is one of this year's best and a real contender for Album Of The Year. If she wins, NARAS would do well to give her a month at Promises in Malibu. Look what it did for Britney. Oh wait ... it didn't do anything for Britney. Maybe they should make Amy live with Britney for a month. That might scare the hell out of her and straighten her out faster than anything.
But I digress. The Grammys.
If you are one of those who likes to watch the show, it will be broadcast on CBS on February 10th at 8 p.m.
Don't worry about missing any special "Grammy Moments," either. If there are any, you can watch them all on YouTube.com the next day.
Of course, if you live on the West Coast, you can go online before the show even airs and find out who won what in the few categories you might actually care about. That's what I do.
And Now This...
This week, Nielsen unveiled a new service that is supposedly going to ensure that videos distributed on the Internet are only those sanctioned by its owners. Nielsen hopes to sell the services, called Digital Media Manager, to media companies such as General Electric's NBC Universal or the Discovery Channel. The service is co-produced by digital watermarking company Digimarc and is scheduled to be available next spring.
Before any media company signs on the dotted line, thinking this will solve the problem of managing online video content not sanctioned, they should get a guarantee that the service will do what it says.
While this new service might help media companies manage and keep track of their approved online content in some small way(s), there is no way to stop the proliferation of videos being uploaded at thousands of websites around the globe faster than you can say "Britney did what?"
Anybody believing there are ways to limit unapproved online video and audio content online probably also believed Paris Hilton when she said her jail experience was "life altering." It altered her plenty. Now, she parties even harder.
Universal Bets On Free Music On Nokia Phones
Universal Music Group expects its deal to offer free music for 12 months on new Nokia phones to have a wider, "stimulating" effect on the digital music business next year, a senior official said on Tuesday.
The world's largest music group and the world's top cell phone vendor said on Tuesday they would offer a free 12-month access to Universal's music for buyers of Nokia music phones starting from the second half of 2008.
Read more about it by clicking here.
MySpace Music Initiative Marries iTunes, MTV Unplugged
The New York TimesIn a Web 2.0 variation of MTV's Unplugged, MySpace today is inviting musicians across the globe to return to the studio and re-record videos of their songs for distribution on MySpace. The News Corp. site will sell the performances through a special Web page devoted to the recording session, allowing musicians to sell the songs for a price that they set, while keeping most of the revenue for themselves. Financial terms were not disclosed, but rev-shares will be negotiated on a case-by-case basis.
The deal is a departure from Apple's iTunes media store, which charges 99 cents per song. Music has been an integral part of the MySpace agenda for many years, though its MySpace Music section has served mostly as a promotional platform for artists and labels. The News Corp. company already sells music through a partnership with Snocap, although the attempt has not fared well. Snocap allows artists to sell music through online stores embedded on MySpace profiles. In October, the Web startup laid off half of its employees.
Read more about it by clicking here.
Opening Act For Gibson's Self-tuning Guitar
There's no denying it. The Robot Guitar from Gibson, which went on sale Monday morning, is pretty cool.
To tune the instrument, the player pulls out one of the knobs on the body of the guitar and strums the strings. The tuner pegs begin to twist left and right on their own, and in about 15 seconds the guitar has been tuned to a different key--or even a customized key that emulates the preferred key of, say, Albert Collins or Jimi Hendrix. The pegs make a low mechanical whirring noise.
Read more about it by clicking here.
U.K. Groups Seek Share In Concert Ticket Resales
Music management groups representing some of Britain's biggest acts are seeking a share of the proceeds from concert tickets resold over the Internet on websites like eBay, Viagogo and Seat Exchange.
But they are likely to face stiff resistance from the sites, one of which has argued that such a levy would effectively mean paying an artist twice for the same ticket. Management organizations behind more than 400 performers, including Robbie Williams, the Arctic Monkeys and Radiohead, aim to unite the live music industry in a new Resale Rights Society that would license the unregulated secondary ticket market.
Read more about it by clicking here.
Avnera Unveils Low-cost, High-yield Chip Solution For Wireless Communication
Avnera, which makes chips for wireless manufacturers, has come up with a low-cost, high-performance solution for wireless communication. By integrating components such as radios and analog-to-digital converters into one chip, the company is able to keep costs down.
Read more about it by clicking here.
Major Copyright Bill Boosts Penalties, Creates New Agency
In the aftermath of the $222,000 jury verdict that the Recording Industry Association of America recently won against a Minnesota woman who shared 24 songs on Kazaa, the U.S. Congress is preparing to amend copyright law. Politicians want to increase penalties for copyright infringement.
It's no joke. Top Democrats and Republicans in the U.S. House of Representatives on Wednesday introduced a sweeping 69-page bill that ratchets up civil penalties for copyright infringement, boosts criminal enforcement, and even creates a new federal agency charged with bringing about a national and international copyright crackdown.
Read more about it by clicking here.
THRILLER'S 25TH
Kanye West, Akon, and will.i.am, will all participate on Michael Jackson's new edition of his "Thriller" album which celebrates its 25th anniversary next year and is due out February 12th on Epic/Legacy Recordings. West, Akon and will.i.am will do remixes on several tracks and there will be unreleased material from the time period as well. Look for an all-out marketing blitz.
ONJ GETS GREASED
Olivia Newton-John has reached a settlement in her lawsuit against Universal Music International over 'Grease' royalties and final details of the agreement are still being worked out. Olivia sued the company last December, claiming she was owed more than $1 million for the film's soundtrack, which was released in 1978.
START SPREADING THE NEWS
Next Wednesday at a ceremony in Beverly Hills, the Post Office will unveil a Frank Sinatra stamp due out next spring. The date of the ceremony coincides with Ol' Blue Eyes birthday, which is a good reason to have a lunch in Mr. Sinatra's honor at The Palm in West Hollywood with the Society of Singers president and CEO, Jerry Sharell and publicist supreme, Larry Solters.
FREE FALLIN' AT HALFTIME
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers will take the stage during halftime at the Super Bowl in Arizona Feb. 3rd.
CONGRATS TO
Brian Wilson, Martin Scorsese Steve Martin Diana Ross and Leon Fleisher were all celebrated at the Kennedy Center Honors Sunday night, following a visit to the White House and recognition from President Bush earlier in the day. The two-hour event, featuring performances by Ciara, Art Garfunkel and Hootie and the Blowfish, will air Dec.26th on CBS.
CONGRATS 2
To the Coen Brothers, whose latest film "'No Country for Old Men" has been selected as the Best Film of 2007 by The National Board of Review
BROOKS STILL HOT AT THE BOX OFFICE AND FOR A GOOD CAUSE
Tickets to a series of concerts the supposedly retired Garth Brooks is giving next month in support of wildfire victims sold out in less than an hour Sunday, according to his website. Brooks will perform five shows at the Staples Center and proceeds will aid fire victims and provide funding for fire departments around California.
THOUGH HER ALBUM IS TANKING, SHE'S HOT ON YAHOO
Her new album might be dropping on the charts faster than temperatures on the East Coast, but that didn't stop Britney Spears from leading Yahoo's list of the top-10 searches of 2007. This means that Britney has headed up the list for six of the past seven years.
WELL, IF A SONG ISN'T GETTING GOOD "CALL-OUTS," IT USUALLY GETS DROPPED
ABC News' Eloise Harper is reporting that with less than 30 days before the critical Iowa caucuses, Hillary Clinton is dropping Celine Dion's "You and I" from the campaign trail, which was used for months. The song has been replaced these days with Big Head Todd and the Monsters' "Blue Sky."
AND WHO EXACTLY IS WAITING FOR THIS?
Ryan Seacrest reported Wednesday on his KIIS-FM radio show that Randy Jackson is releasing a new CD in a few weeks featuring Paula Abdul on lead vocals.
BONNAROO SET
The 2008 Bonnaroo Music Festival will be held June 12-15 in Manchester, Tenn
A CARTOON COURT
In what is believed to be a clerical error (uh, let's hope that all it was), an Italian court has ordered Mickey Mouse, Donald and Daisy Duck, and Tweety Bird to testify in a counterfeiting case against a Chinese man. Because the cartoon characters were indisposed, the Naples court now has to correct the summons, which will likely delay the case, a Disney lawyer said.
KATIE STILL IN THE BASEMENT
Katie Couric still is #3 in the evening news race behind #1 rated NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, and #2 rated ABC World News Tonight with Charles Gibson. Both NBC and ABC finished the fall sweeps with 9 million plus viewers in a very close race, while Couric's CBS news program garnered only 6.74 million viewers. (Source: http://tinyurl.com/26hxo4 )
Quotes of the week
"From 'SpongeBob' to 'Finding Nemo' ... I'm still trying to decide which one I like more."
-- Kevin Federline, on what's on his TV, to Details magazine. The question is: Who's watching those shows Kevin ... you or the kids?"I don't have a boyfriend right now. But I would love to start a family."
-- Paris Hilton, on being envious of Nicole Richie's pregnancy. Well gee, Paris, it shouldn't be hard for you to get pregnant at all. We've all seen the videos."I'd like to live in the country and have a walled garden, and chickens and pigs."
-- 22-year-old Lily Allen, to Britain's Sunday Times, on wanting to retire at age 25. If your next album doesn't sell well, my dear, you can retire sooner than you wish."You've heard it takes some time [to get pregnant after going off the pill] - except with Power Egg and Super Sperm here!"
-- Christina Aguilera, on her unexpected pregnancy, to Marie Claire magazine. Well, bottle it up and sell it, Ms. Aguilera!"It's uncomfortable and I hope this is the only time I ever have to go through something like this."
-- "High School Musical" star Ashley Tisdale after her nose job to People magazine. She claims she had the surgery "to help my health," after she was diagnosed with a deviated septum and two small fractures of her nose. That, and because 99.9% of all stars with questionable schnozolas have it done to look better."You don't sleep with David Beckham. I'm going to be naked if I'm getting in bed with him every night!"
-- Spice Girl Victoria Beckham to Elle magazine, on why she chooses her birthday suit instead of pajamas. Well, excuuuuuuse, us, Victoria.
The B-Side - 'Blips'
THE ONION (www.theonion.com) STORY OF THE WEEK:
These Time-Management Issues Will Be Easily Resolved With A Series Of Streamlined Meetings
It's come to my attention that this office hasn't been managing time efficiently lately, so I'd like to use this open forum to address just a couple of the more pressing motivational concerns not covered in my last series of staff-wide e-mails. This is just a launching-off point to get the dialogue started. Obviously there will be more issues arising in the next few weeks-especially during Special Projects/New Goals week-and some of these issues will change slightly or completely, so we'll have to readdress those specific challenges at a later date or as they occur. Let's have a meeting about meetings.
Read the rest and laugh here: http://tinyurl.com/2fxdl2.
The Blogs
Check out a great blog by Jerry Del Colliano, the Director Executive Programs, Clinical Professor Music Industry & Recording Arts, at the Thornton School of Music,University of Southern California, by clicking here: http://www.insidemusicmedia.blogspot.com.
Box Office
Check The Daily & Weekly Box Office (and more film info) at: www.boxofficemojo.com.
TinyURL
Check out www.tinyurl.com where you can make a smaller URL that will work for any webpage you wish to link to or reference. (As you can see, I'm using it in my news stories above!)
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