The Last Word Is A Rowdy One

Whenever possible, I like to give radio the last word on topics we've discussed here. So, we'll wrap up our conversation on Broadcast Award entries and how radio can best demonstrate the great work it's doing every day. For a perspective from behind the mic, say hello to Rowdy Yates, former morning personality for KVOO/Tulsa, and previously, longtime (16+ years!) morning and afternoon air talent at KIKK and KILT/Houston. Yates currently serves as SuiteRadio Dir./Country Content & Programming and continues to host the syndicated "Original Country Gold With Rowdy Yates."

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On many a Monday afternoon, I take a minute to meander through the musings of RJ Curtis from All Access Nashville and take in his uncensored opinion of the goings on in my field of broadcasting. His article on July 23rd has left a taste in my mouth that I have been belching up like a bad bologna sandwich. Not because he is wrong, but because he is right.

As he serves dutifully as judge for the CMA Broadcast Awards this year, RJ finds himself unimpressed with what many consider to be their very best, but I gotta tell ya, it is only partly the fault of the talent. While this may look like an attack on every point he makes, it is not; I’d just like to offer up a little mic-side commentary on a few of his high points.

True selfhood, heart, soul, and shreds of human substance are very hard to naturally convey when set up in advance by a screaming, sizzling, blazing introduction and a 2-minute bed that intend to not only drive the content along, but also keep you within the confines of a Program Director, Consultant, and/or Talent Coach who begin to sweat after 20 seconds of dry talk. Sadly, so many have fallen in to this PPM trap and the programmers’ first and most famous line from PPM’s initial deployment: “Get to the SEX!”

Let’s review. SEX should consist of a few key (and easily translatable to radio) elements. Arousal, foreplay, the act itself, hopeful simultaneous climax, optional cigarette afterward, afterglow, and, -- yes -- cuddling. Seems to me, we have left a lot of that on the table, leaving our highly coveted female demographic largely unsatisfied.

Truth is, a slick ten-second introduction never got me laid, but some sweet talk certainly did. But, it is only if those talented people are allowed to to demonstrate that full range of human emotions that you will ever hear them on the radio. It also might be very difficult to do when your PD has scheduled the bridge to “Pumped Up Kicks” to blare underneath your chatter.

It’s time to get to the STEAK and tone down the sizzle. Stop boxing every element in. More natural transitions between the elements and friendly, non-forced dialogue is the solution. Otherwise, you will continue to sound like you walked in to a room, screamed out your name, farted loudly, and left.

Let me come to the defense of my fellow jocks about the use of artists drops. Many of you know I worked in Houston for years, and we were one of the test markets for PPM. By effectively teasing and setting an appointment for such snippets, and properly executing them, we were able to move the meter. But, in a typical “Monkey See, Monkey Do” approach, the blanket order is delivered that audio is good. As much of it as you can, and not just artists, but Hollywood stars, mindless recaps of last night’s TV shows, who got booted off the island, voted off the dance floor, did not have the red chair spin around, etc. Nine times out of ten, this is at the insistence of higher-ups who think that makes for great pop culture conversation. Most of the time, it sounds like the audio version of re-heated hash browns, and there is not enough ketchup to cover up how bad they are. THAT, you can hear. If your personalities are largely disinterested in this, it will sound like it. Enter: “meh.”

As for the name dropping, here is a different school of thought. We want to be the people who knows the stars; be the bridge between a P1 and their favorites. That is a cool role to play. My old PD, Jeffrey L. Garrison, beat it in to my head how important it was to have that artist access and to truly try to forge some sort of memorable relationship with them. Lots of us have. It does make for better interaction during interviews and deepens the listener connection; however, running audio for the sake of running it is like talking for the sake of talk. If you have nothing to say, shut the hell up.

What about female leads or the lack thereof? This has been a problem in radio for decades, and it is not getting any better. Truth be told, the first, third, and fifth thing many PDs consider when recruiting a female talent is how they look and how old they are. Then, there are those that possess an incredible amount of talent but are regularly relegated to “weather bunny” status… but you’ll certainly see them prominently displayed on Facebook, TV, or billboards. What they bring to the radio is secondary to the aesthetics they bring to the marketing of a show, usually to make an older/established show appear to be younger, hipper, and cooler. “A female lead has never worked in this market” is no excuse. Hire the right woman (Laurie DeYoung, Lisa Dent, Lisa Taylor, and Kelly Ford are awesome examples) -- oh, and free your mind. That old thought process is no laughing matter.

Speaking of laughs, there is a reason you hear a lot of it. Many personalities of the day just do not know what to do next. PDs don’t know how to teach them. “We’ll just talk until it’s funny” was the mantra of one of the many PDs I had while doing mornings. He believed there was no need for rehearsal; there was no need for direction; that conversations should flow naturally, freely, organically, and most of all be real. Discussion, or even the briefest of preparation beforehand of anything at all, would take away from the authenticity of the break, and it would not be as spontaneous. Are there extremely talented people on the radio like that can pull that off? Yes. But, when you hear that laughing go on a little bit too long, or when something is not that funny, you are dealing with the unprepared, the poorly instructed, or both.

Thing is, we did this to ourselves. Owners over-paid for stations, greed took over, and talent took the hit. We failed to train replacements or could not even hire them. We gave them no farm clubs to learn the craft. We failed to make our industry sexy and enticing, and all the time, we continue to whittle away at the very things that were the heart of our signals, and that was the very stars on them. We were led to believe that if they can get it on their smart phone, then we could not talk about it on the radio. There was no point in giving the time or the weather. Local news could be provided by a service, and radio journalists were sidelined in favor of out-of-town, or out-of-state, news readers -- or just eliminated altogether.

Outside of mornings, we created a rather mundane formula of pop culture, contesting, teasing, and artist info -- all in condensed versions -- crammed over the top of records or boxed in to a confining space. It always seemed funny to me that PDs would use the excuse, “You’re not cutting through” to fire a jock. When there are 60 minutes in every hour, and your amount of talk time -- or presence, if you will -- is four 12-second ramps, how in the hell could you?

We cannot be confined by the clock any longer. Not, in any daypart. Podcasting is proving that in yet another area that radio largely ignored, and now we have helped create a space for spoken word that we could have OWNED had we opened our ears. It’s clear to me that the listeners have.

That whole generic station sound really struck a nerve. The pre-produced “HOT” intros especially grind my gears. Or, the simple voice drop -- “You guys play the best music!” -- from a clearly canned person and service, and many times with an accent that should only be heard in a certain part of the nation. People can see and hear through that. Sure, it gives your station a slick presentation, but in the process, we again eliminate the opportunity for a personality -- or more importantly, a listener -- to express their own passion about a song or their favorite station. We also give exposure to this perceived “generic” sound, as so much of that stuff is used on SO many stations around the nation. I am not saying it isn’t good. It is. VERY good. I’m saying we rely on it too much. Provided those production whiz kids can carve out the time, original creations of that type of content for your station will always be the best route. KILT in Houston has some great examples.

Get back to basics. We need to focus on what is coming out of the speakers first and foremost. Social networking and digital are merely the support structure to our towers, and until they come down for good, it’s best you believe that, too. What I do not believe in is the over-used term by programmers and managers: “Well, once you get rid of that, there is no getting it back.”

BULLSHIT.

If you were offered advice to cut loose a beloved personality on your staff, and it turned out to be a bad move on your part, swallow your pride – grovel, if you must -- and hire them back. Apologize. Give them a raise, and let the audience know why they have returned. Same goes for beloved news and traffic anchors and what is left of actual journalists and respected radio reporters of the news. Think of it this way: if you got a music test you realized was bad, would you continue to go with the changes it suggested? No, you would not. Same goes for poorly interpreted perceptual research or the opinions of those you brought it to advise your programming decisions. Make them go away before you consider clamming up or dropping the hammer on a person that has a vested interest in your property and equity in your marketplace; he or she may go across the street and teach you a costly lesson.

Bottom line is, this bell can be un-rung, course corrections can be made, and as far as talent, proper guidance and simple re-examination of how things are done and in what way they do it would go a long way in delivering that sparkle you and other judges desire. Let them do their jobs. Give them the freedom they deserve. Work with them daily. Most importantly, figure out a way to cultivate new talent. And, if you find that formula, share it for the benefit of all and the preservation of our medium.

What brought all of this out was the judging of CMA entries and RJ’s desire to hear a better barn full of broadcasters. I say it is time to swing the stable doors wide open.

Joshua C. Holstead, a/k/a “Rowdy Yates,” has won Personality of the Year honors from the CRB and ACM. He was also the youngest person to ever be inducted to the Texas Radio Hall Of Fame. Rowdy is the host of the most listened to Country music request show in the nation, “The Original Country Gold With Rowdy Yates,” and is the afternoon personality and heads up operations for the Country division of RFC Media’s SuiteRadio.net and their 24/7 radio offerings.