Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check - May 18, 2011

Bottom feeding:

What's a former reality "star" to do when the cameras stop rolling? Pursue a career in adult entertainment, of course! TMZ.com reports that DANIELLE STAUB --who catapulted into the public eye as a "Real Housewife of New Jersey" --is working as an exotic dancer at Scores Gentleman's Club in New York. Word is she signed a three-year deal with the joint and will occasionally appear on ScoresLive.com. (Lee)

Tabloids with Cory Myers:

JAMES DURBIN's stepfather is telling the world about the "American Idol" contestant's childhood problems. CHARLES CARRANZA told Star magazine that the rocker was suicidal as a preteen and even played with knives around his stepbrother.

Today's police blotter:

At the border in Santa Teresa, NM, contraband seized from behind the seat of a pick-up truck. Not drugs. Baloney --385 pounds of it. Estimated street value: $2,700.
It's illegal to bring baloney across the border because it's made of pork and might introduce a foreign disease into the country and/or the U-S pork industry.
Editor's note: Biggest baloney bust since the last speech made by a politician. (Oh, c'mon; somebody had to say it!)
--My bologna has a last name. It's Guadalupe-Rosales-de-la-Hoya-de-Los-Angeles.
--Don't they know how to hide the bologna? (Maiman)

Casting Call:

Confirmed: ARMIE HAMMER will play "The Lone Ranger" opposite JOHNNY DEPP's Tonto in the upcoming movie for Disney. Hammer is the guy who played the WINKLEVOSS twins in the hit movie, "The Social Network."

Grace notes:

NEIL DIAMOND will be honored with the Icon Award at the 2011 Billboard Music Awards on Sunday. He's sold over 128-million records worldwide with 39 top 10 singles, including three number one's, and 18 platinum albums. Neil will also perform at the big event which will be aired live from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas on ABC. (Marino)

"Glee" star MATTHEW MORRISON has landed a really sweet gig. He'll be opening for the Backstreet Boys & New Kids On The Block on their summer tour. Matthew joins the show in Anaheim, California on July 6th and stays out until an August 7th gig in London, Ontario, Canada. Matthew's self-titled debut solo album was released last week. (Marino)

Trolling for IQ points:

A leading Russian car manufacturer appears to be promoting drinking and driving.
The NY Post reports the unidentified car maker is giving away a free S-U-V to anyone who buys a bottle of their special vodka. What's the catch? The vodka costs 740-thousand bucks. The bottle comes in a solid gold case. And, the SUV comes with your choice of interiors, including elephant skin. (Still)