Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check - Jun 14, 2011

Culture Shock:

Retiring in your 60s? Forget it; how about retirement in your 80s?
According to a study by the Employee Benefit Research Institute (a non-partisan think tank focused on economic security and employee benefits), even those with the highest annual incomes have only a 50 percent chance of funding their retirement if they stop working at age 65.
For those working at the lowest end, they'll have to work till age 84 before 90 percent of the households will have a 50 percent chance of affording retirement.
High end salaries: $72,500. Lowest end: $11,700.
Middle class workers --those between $31,200 and $72,500 will have to work till age 72 to have a 50 percent chance of enough of a nest egg.
Bottom line: This is the new normal. Not working is no longer an option and working past age 65 is fast becoming a fact of life.
Editor's note: That guy who said 60 was the new 40 forgot to tell you that 80 is the new 60. (Maiman)

Trash talk and satellite dish:

DEMI LOVATO is back on the market. Sources tell the NY Post's Page Six gossip column the 18-year-old Disney princess has broken off her relationship with 31-year-old WILMER VALDERRAMA. Word is the age difference was a challenge and they're in two "completely different places."
Her rep refused to comment. (Lee)

Royalty report:

Hey all you studly bachelors --are you on the hunt for a woman with style, class, grace and a traffic-stopping rear end? Great news --PIPPA MIDDLETON is single! A "friend" of the British beauty tells the Times of London that she's parted ways with longtime boyfriend ALEX LOUDON. You'd better hurry to get on her dance card --word is she's already spending some quality time with GEORGE PERCY, a former love from her college days. (Lee)

Fashion Emergency:

Ladies --a lingerie designer has come up with just the thing to sooth your boobs: Aloe Vera-infused bras.
The line of undies is called Caressence. It includes molded t-shirt bras, four different styles of panties and a bodysuit. The aloe is in the lace parts of all the garments. Fashionista.com says there are microbeads of aloe in the lace, which makes the fabric feel “super-soft” against your skin. They were created by French designer SIMONE PERELE.
The aloe’s soothing properties last for up to 100 washings.The bras range from $78 to $95. The undies run from $34 to $49. The body suit sells for $115.
Editor’s note: For those prices, the aloe vera plant should be growing out of the bras. Buy a D-Cup, and you have a planter.
--Some reasons you might need aloe in your underwear: (1) Sunburn from topless tanning (2) Razor burn (3) Lace is itchy! (Bartha)

Egg on Face department:

Airport security in Detroit detained a 29-year-old disabled man because he was armed --with a toy hammer.
According to the NY Post, agents with the Transportation Security Administration confiscated the plastic toy from DREW MANDY, who reportedly has the mental capacity of a two-year-old. Then they questioned him about padding in his pants. That padding turned out to be adult diapers.
The TSA has since apologized. (Still)

Grace notes:

"Glee" is after BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN for the next season of the show. E! Online says executive producer Ian Brennan hopes The Boss will guest star as a motivational speaker for the students. So far, no one has asked Bruce if he'd even be interested. (Marino)