Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check

Political Racket /Dirty Tricks:

In a unanimous vote, the Senate approved legislation to extend unemployment benefits for 14 more weeks around the country and 20 more weeks in states where the unemployment rate is greater than 8.5 percent.
   This latest extension means a jobless worker could now get benefits for 99 weeks in some states.
   In addition, the bill extends the $8-thousand-dollar tax credit for first-time home buyers another seven months, an extremely popular program that many have accused of being too easy to defraud.
   Lawmakers also created a new $65-hundred-dollar credit for homeowners who want to move and buy a new residence.
   The bill also lets businesses write off losses from this year and last against taxes paid on profits from the past five years. The idea there is to help small business. The money to pay for all this is coming from the stimulus, half of which hasn't even been spent yet.
   The House also passed the measure and President Obama will quickly sign it into law, perhaps today. (Maiman)

Trash talk and satellite dish:

Warning: note possibly disgusting content:
   MICHAEL JACKSON's doctor claims Michael was not a child molester, and the only reason a boy was able to describe his genitals was that Michael thought it was funny to pee in front of groups of people and would do it all the time at parties. Dr ARNOLD KLEIN, Michael's dermatologist, told TMZ.com that Michael had a fascination for peeing in public, and often did it in cups in front of people.
   Editor's note: Certainly gives new meaning to the phrase "This Is It!" (RB)

Performance anxiety:

Warning: note sexual content.
There may be one less naked man to look at under the evergreen this holiday season. The NY Post's Page Sixgossip column reports LEVI JOHNSTON is getting quite nervous about his upcoming shoot for Playgirl magazine and worries how his (ahem) package will look on-camera, particularly because the pictures are set to be taken at an ice rink! (Lee)

Fa-La-La-La-La:

We're close enough to Christmas now that we can start the fight over what our kids should and should not be exposed to in the classroom. A substitute teacher from California is trying to keep Christmas caroling in the state's schools.
   MERRY HYATT and her brother, DAVID, have been collecting signatures for their "Freedom to Present Christmas Music in Public School Classrooms or Assemblies" ballot initiative. Merry got the idea when she was working for a school that, in her mind, celebrated Christmas without telling the kids why.
   She said "We were having Christmas without Jesus... This (initiative) is to make sure that we are allowed to have Christmas carols, and no school board member or principal is going to tell us, 'No, you may not play "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" in your classroom."
   If Merry and David can get enough signatures, California voters will decide the matter next year. (Couchman)

Movies that will suck:

Hollywood has sunk to new depths, doing a movie version of the classic Hanna-Barbera cartoon, "Yogi Bear." The Hollywood Reporter says ANNA FARIS and DAN AYKROYD are in negotiations to star and JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE is also in talks to join the film. She'd play a documentarian making a nature film, while Ackroyd and J-T would supply the voices for Yogi and Boo-Boo.

Pet Patrol:

Even if you're not into yoga, you've probably heard of the Upward Facing Dog. It's a yoga pose where lay on your stomach and lift your upper body off the floor, stretching your chest. Doesn't sound so unusual for yoga. But now there's actually yoga for dogs. It's called Doga.
   Doga instructor JESSICA TOMAZ tells the Muncie Star Press that yoga provides the same benefits for dogs as it does for humans. It brings them into a more peaceful state. Tomaz uses traditional yoga poses --and yes, you actually have to put your dog into these poses yourself-- combined with a little acupressure. Tomaz says the acupressure releases tension, helps with circulation and even bladder function. (Page)

Animal Stories:

An Oklahoma couple driving home from church hit an animal. It was a really BIG animal.
   An elephant that had escaped from a nearby circus was running across the highway in rural Enid, OK. The couple is fine though their SUV is a mess. They elephant suffered a broken tusk (those grow back) and an injured leg.
   Editor's note: Know what you do when you hit an elephant with your car? Put it in the trunk. Bwaw haw haw!
   --How could you not hit an elephant in Oklahoma. The whole state is crawling with Republicans. (Maiman)