Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check

The First Family at play:

First lady MICHELLE OBAMA launched a federal anti-obesity program yesterday (the same day that Denny's made a free Grand Slam Breakfast available to any American who asked for it).
   Obama will oversee a federal task force on obesity that the president has charged with developing a plan that will "solve the problem of childhood obesity within a generation." The first lady already has a program called "Let's Move" ready to go. Under the program, the government will work to educate parents about the importance of good nutrition, improve the quality of food available in schools, and put a greater emphasis on physical activity during the school day.
   Obama is also going to enlist the aid of good old-fashioned peer pressure. The White House has teamed up with Disney to film PSAs that feature the first lady and Disney Channel stars talking about nutrition.
   Even though the first lady's mom-ish portfolio seems to have been created with the goal of avoiding controversy (no Michellecare here!), critics immediately jumped on the anti-obesity campaign, which they see as the worst sort of federal meddling.
   --DOUG MATACONIS of Below the Beltway wants to know "Which portion of the Constitution gives the Federal Government authority to regulate what they serve for lunch in Scranton, PA?"
   --At the National Review, JULIE GUNLOCK argues that Obama (who famously discussed her daughters' weight struggles) is ignoring her own family's experience as she takes up the issue: "Parental involvement, not the federal government, is the only long-term cure for childhood obesity --as Mrs. Obama has shown by her example, if not by her policy proposals."
   Editor's note: PSAs with Disney? Maybe they can make a musical out of it.
   --Did any of these useless wastes of the planet's precious oxygen complain when Republican first ladies touted their pet causes? I don't recall any of them clutching their pearls about the constitutionality of Laura's Bush literacy efforts. Seriously, can these people just go gorge themselves? (Maiman)

Fast food:

Did you have one of those free, Grand Slam breakfasts at Denny's yesterday? Not to be a killjoy, but the Albany (NY) Times Union says you inhaled 795 calories when you chowed down on the two pancakes, two sausage links, two strips of bacon and two eggs. And 450 of those were calories from fat, along with 2,237 milligrams of sodium (almost your entire daily requirement).
   And that doesn't even include the butter or syrup.

Sucking the life out of the wire services:

MICHAEL JACKSON's autopsy was released after his doctor, CONRAD MURRAY, was charged with involuntary manslaughter on Monday, and it contained several interesting items:
   --Turns out Michael, who weighed just 136 pounds, wore a wig. His hair was said to be "sparse" as a result of "frontal balding."
   --We already knew that Michael had vitiligo, a skin condition which turns patches of skin white due to lack of pigmentation. What we didn't know was how extensive it was. Michael's body had white patches on his chest, abdomen, face and arms.
   --With all the stories about Michael's various noses, we'll probably hear more about this item in the tabloids --there was also a bandage on the tip of Michael's nose.
   --Michael also had dark tattoos near both eyebrows and a small pink tattoo near his lips.

Road Rage:

A man in England has been fined for reckless driving after he attacked another motorist with a can of deodorant.
   According to the Evening Express, 30-year-old SHANE FENTON lost it when a van driver passing along side, flashed his lights and honked his horn. Fenton claims his girlfriend, who's four months pregnant, suffered stomach pains and blamed the passing driver.
   Fenton, a former Special Forces soldier in the British military, says he "saw red," sped up alongside the passing car and sprayed it with the deodorant.
   Editor's note: Might need to Ban him for some Degree of time, but keep it Secret. Sure, just roll on with that one, pal.   --What an idiot. You're supposed to use a lighter with the deodorant to turn it into a flamethrower. No wonder he's a "former Special Forces dude.
   --Know where this type of attack could never have happened? France. You're welcome. (Maiman)