Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check

Celebrity Lawsuits:

Can reality TV literally drive you bonkers? That's what one Pennsylvania prisoner named D-J GOODSEN believes. TMZ.com reports the jailbird filed suit against the KARDASHIAN sisters because he was forced to watch "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" and "Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami" while in the clink. Poor Mr. Goodsen alleges he suffered "extreme emotional distress due to the outrageousness of their actions" and is hoping for a $75,000 payday. (Lee)

Locked Up for their own good:

A guy in Sweden came back from a long vacation to find a huge surprise in his living room.
   The Local says, when the unidentified 67-year-old walked into his apartment, he noticed a massive hole in the 10-inch thick concrete wall. He also noticed 14-hundred dollars was missing. When he looked through the hole, he saw his neighbor's living room on the other side.
   The 55-year-old neighbor is now accused of digging the makeshift door so he could make nightly trips into the victim's apartment.
   Cops say the neighbor denies taking any cash. But, he admits digging the hole because the 'media elite' made him do it. Apparently, the hole was part of his defense against some kind of 'conspiracy'.
   Oh, he also admitted he liked coming into the apartment because the victim got better channels on his T-V. (Still)

Broadcast, cable and video news:

With all the attention the "Mad Men" series has been getting for the look back at advertising in the 60s, now ABC has taken a page from the playbook and put together a series about the pilots and flight attendants who worked back in the 1960s for Pan Am.
   Daily Variety magazine says the drama will have "The West Wing's" TOMMY SCHLAMME as a director and scripts are already being developed for the time when flight attendants were known as "stewardesses" and wore stuff like go-go boots.

Grace notes:

LADY GAGA was in Maine yesterday, leading a rally to hopefully get the state's two U.S. senators to vote for the repeal of the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy for gay personnel. The Bangor Daily News says more than two-thousand people were in Deering Oaks Park where the singer joined veterans who were discharged because of their sexual orientation.
Lady Gaga wore a suit and tie for the occasion. The Senate votes today on a defense authorization bill that includes a repeal of the policy. Democrats need 60 votes to end the debate and get to the bill. Maine's two Senators are Republicans and could wind up being the deciding votes. (Marino)

Bigfoot, Nessie, Chupacabra, etc:

An update on the Hairy Women of Klipnocky Beauty Contest. (The what?)
   It's an annual event at the Canaseraga Harvest Festival in upstate New York (that's can-uh-sair-RAH-guh).
   It's basically their version of Bigfoot --mysterious hairy women who live in the hills of Klipnocky. The event is to give folks a chance to see what they might look like up close and personal, or at least a contestant's idea of what they might look like, since no one's ever seem a hairy women of Klipnocky up close and personal.
   Contestants (either men or women) try anything to standout, doing things like long armpit hair braiding, singing, dancing and other tricks.
   This year's first place winners were STEVE BAKER and MATT WOODRING won first prize portraying Madame Butch" and "Lizagne" (ha ha, Lasagna), which, according to the Hornell Evening Tribune, is big news in these parts since they upset the annual favorites, GERI STOKES and MICHELLE MESS dressed as Leola Mae Hatfield and Mama Hoochie. (photos)
   Editor's note: Oh, heck, just call 'em wookies and be done with it. (Maiman)