Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check

Guilty Pleasures:

New York City's Parker Meridien hotel now has a rate for afternoon "quickies." Yes, even in the sophisticated Big Apple, people need a place to go for an afternoon getaway, and the hotel makes it easy, offering champagne, strawberries with whipped cream and an on-demand adult film of your choice for a mere $250 (yeah, right!). The rate is only good from 11 am to 1 pm, according to Hotelchatter.com.

Filling a need for speed:

How about a brand-new corporate jet? People who can afford such things say billionaires are standing in line for a new, $65 million Gulfstream G650, which has a top speed of 704 mph --the fastest corporate jet made. The planes are still a year away from delivery, and there's only 200 of them coming from Gulfstream --50 every year for four years.
   That means there's a lot of wheeling and dealing going on between moguls and celebrities like DAVID GEFFEN (who's on the list) and blue chip companies including VISA, Coca-Cola and Johnson & Johnson.
   The NY Post reports that some billionaires are selling their spots for as much as $6 million, since --as you know-- billionaires don't like to be kept waiting. PHILIP FALCONE, a Wall Street hedge fund biggie, managed to get three spots on the list and says he intends to take delivery on two, while selling the third spot.

Trash talk and satellite dish:

COLIN FIRTH almost lost his Oscar trophy just hours after winning the "Best Actor" honors. Sources tell AbsoluteNow.com the thespian is quite the partier --everyone was buying him drinks to celebrate and he forgot the little golden man during a trip to the bathroom. Luckily, the men's room attendant noticed the mistake and chased him out of the loo.
   Meanwhile, "Bridget Jones" fans will be heartbroken to hear Colin may not star in a third installment of the film series. Rumors are swirling he's got some amazing opportunities out there and the role of "Mark Darcy" might be something he's just outgrown. (Lee)

Looks like ELTON JOHN is going to the royal wedding after all. He's been insisting that he would not be invited to the April 29th ceremony at Buckingham Palace because while he knew PRINCE WILLIAM's mother, the late PRINCESS DIANA, he's not close with William or his brother, HARRY. Elton was on a Canadian TV show yesterday and still said he wasn't invited, until the host said she knew he had been. Elton then admitted that he did in fact have an invitation, and that he would most definitely attend with his husband, DAVID FURNISH. (Marino)

On, off and way-off Broadway:

One of the worst disasters in U-S history is being turned into a musical.
   WWL-TV says the Hurricane Katrina disaster has been made into a musical theatre production. The work is a collaboration between writer DAN BAUM and songwriter PAUL SANCHEZ. The storyline focuses on the New Orleans flooding and all the lives it affected.
   The play will feature Tony Award-winning actor MICHAEL CERVERIS, who appeared in Broadway productions of Sweeney Todd and the rock opera Tommy. (Still)

Survivor: real life:

Warning: note content:
   After 55 years of living without one, a farmer in China has finally gotten... a butt opening.
   The man was born with it. It's a birth defect called congenital anal atresia in which the aperture is smaller than normal. You can live but it makes life difficult. The cause is unknown, but scientists think genetics plays a part in it.
   Surgery is the only treatment to get you "normal," but that isn't an option if you can't afford it and this farmer, born to a poor family, couldn't. All this time, the farmer managed, watched his diet, married and had children, and saved his money until he had enough for the surgery. He can now do his business just like anyone else.
   Editor's note: I just love a happy ending.
   --He's a much better farmer now, too. In fact, he's outstanding in his field. Haw haw.
   --But just think, for all those years, he was the only person in the world who could enjoy a low-flow toilet.
   --Talk about "where no man has gone before." (Maiman)