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A Doll Is Not Your Child. (Or Your Girlfriend, If That's What You're Into)
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As a member of a stereotypical childless-couple-with-cat, I understand the emotional impetus for treating a pet as if it was your child, but although we do love Ella the World's Most Famous Cat and dote on her a little, we know she's not our kid, she's a cat. This couple doesn't have quite that perspective, which is even more bizarre considering that their "son" is not only a monkey but a Beanie Babies stuffed monkey, and when they lost him, they panicked. But an unemployed guy found it on a parking meter and happened to see the flyers the couple had posted all over Brooklyn. And they gave him a $500 reward, but had to beg him to give them the doll, because HE liked it, too. By the way, "mom" once accidentally burned her "son" with a cigar; is it child abuse when it's not a real child? (New York Post)
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