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No, There Is No Brown Card
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Honestly, I don't know if this is legit even if it IS in a real paper, but when... okay, the headline is this: "Swedish footballer sent off for farting during match." He got a red card for cutting a massive fart. I want this to be true. And the last line comes from the ref: "Once there was a player who stood and peed next to the pitch. I showed him a yellow card, too." That is too perfect. (The Guardian)
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