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There’s no such thing as a bad habit
November 17, 2020
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“First you make your habits, then your habits make you.” John Dryden
Everyone has what we categorize as a “bad habit.” The classics are smoking, drinking alcohol, overeating, compulsive shopping, over medicating, stressing out, obsessive TV watching or social media scrolling, gambling and sex. We do these things for a couple reasons. First is the amazon prime mentality of instant gratification and another is to numb ourselves from pain and suffering. It’s so much easier to sweep shit under the rug than to actually address, face, and resolve our problems.
What if I told you there’s no such thing as a bad habit??? Really??? Now that I have your attention, perhaps I should explain further. First, let’s start with the definition of a habit. A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. The American Journal of Psychology defines a "habit, from the standpoint of psychology, [as] a more or less fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling acquired through previous repetition of a mental experience." Habits are created in the oldest part of the brain called the reptilian or primal brain. It’s responsible for our innate and automatic self-preserving behavior patterns which will ensure our survival. It’s also in charge of the four “Fs” feeding, fighting, fleeing and f*ck!ng. So why is there no such thing as a “bad” habit? The brain doesn’t know the difference between what we reason as good or bad, it just knows that the repeated behavior that you created has a payoff that keeps you alive. It’s as simple as that.
Let’s take drinking alcohol every day for instance. After a long stressful day at work, and sitting in bumper to bumper traffic home, you walk into your house that is in utter chaos. Your spouse/kids immediately start complaining or demanding your attention. Your feel wrecked, your energy is depleted and all you want to do is pour yourself a drink to “relax.” Your brain then associates this behavior as one that provides you with the FEELING of relief. Relaxing = Relief. Your brain then gives you urges to continue the cycle. Urges are your brain’s signal that the habit needs to happen in order to feel better. The bigger the urges become, the harder they are to avoid. Urges = Tension. Acting on the habit releases the tension. This habit however is debilitating to your long term health, and messes with your metabolism, memory and sleep. It also makes you drowsy, slurs your speech, provides a massive hang over and is usually the catalyst to poor decision making. Wow, that sounds relaxing, said no one ever! Contrarily, you have the habit of working out every day. When you wake up, you immediately put on your running shoes and go jogging, or head out to the gym for an early morning HIIT class. You feel energetic, pumped, and ready to take on the world. This is also a habit. You created both habits through repetition. Both make you feel better in the moment, but only one is beneficial for you long term. The wonderful news is you created all your habits, and you can create new ones that better serve you.
Since repetition is the mother of all learning, let’s reiterate the fundamental principles of a habit. 95% of what you do is a habit. All habits are brain based. The reptilian brain thinks habits are survival mechanisms. You are not your habits. You can create anything you want with the right habits.
Now that we’ve got that covered, let’s dive into eliminating negative habits. Consider one major habit you want to annihilate. This is the big kahuna habit that destroys or meddles with every other aspect of your life. First make a declaration, draw a line in the sand, and scream from the rooftops you are DONE with it. Nothing will change until you DECIDE. This is where something humorous happens for some Type-A clients I’ve worked with. They claim not be quitters! Seriously??? What if quitting is the most amazing thing that could happen to you??? In this case, we name it elimination. If quitting smoking makes you a “quitter” then let’s reframe it shall we? The brain actually likes elimination or dismissal better anyway. What we are really doing here is shifting your identity from a smoker to non-smoker. Non-smokers never wake up and contemplate if they are going to have a cigarette today. Just like a vegan vegetarian never has a hankering for a hamburger. It’s not anything they would ever think about. You can’t want what you’re not thinking about. You can’t act on what you are not thinking about. We must first address the brain battle before we can eliminate the habit once and for all. Because you are a ninja brain trainer, your kick-ass brain is going to give you urges. Remember the pay-off makes you feel better! So how does one abominate the urge, and discontinue the brain battle “to smoke or not to smoke.” You must use this process created by my coach and mentor Jim Fortin. Actually. Jim taught me all of this brain training. He’s pretty spectacular. Here’s the juicy stuff….
HABIT HAPPENING
1.) Habit alarm goes off - It’s time for a ciggy
2.) Habit urge or compulsion shows up – I want a ciggy
3.) Habit voice talks you into the habit – Come on man you NEED a ciggy
4.) Most people collapse at this point – Yay I am smoking – ahh relaxingYOUR REPONSE TO BRAIN – AKA HABIT HACKING (you must say this to yourself!)
1.) This is just a habit, it’s not me
2.) It’s just habit voice, it’s not me
3.) I dismiss habit voice and urge now
4.) I MOVE MY ATTENTION!This is going to take practice. Moving your attention means doing ANYTHING else but the habit at hand. Pattern interrupts are very useful in this case. Jumping jacks, petting the dog, drinking tea, just shift your attention. I quit a lifelong habit of drinking wine daily using this formula. I’ve been living an alcohol free life for 16 months now. My urges lasted a week, and I’ve never looked back. To be 100% transparent, I also coupled it with a few hypnosis sessions with a professional hypnotist. My results were so life changing, it prompted me to get certified as a hypnotist myself. Habits can only be eliminated by subconscious reprogramming, which is what hypnosis does. Jim Fortin who created this habit hacking formula was a master hypnotist. Using the formula alone can eliminate your habit, but speaking from my whole heart, it’s hypnosis that put the nail in my wine habit coffin. I am here to serve you if you are so inclined to obliterate your negative habits. I hope this has served you as it has for me. After all, it’s an Inside-Project.
Recommended Reading… If you want to delve further into brain retraining, there’s a fascinating book by Dr. Joe Dispenza called “Breaking the habit of being yourself: How to lose your mind and create a new one” It’s truly a mind bender!
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