Do Opposites Attract?

We’re often told that “opposites attract” but that’s not true! It's complete nonsense. In fact, we tend to like people who are similar to us - surprising huh!?! There is a huge pile of research that confirms this--the evidence is clear that actually "opposites rarely attract."

That makes sense when you think about it. Most of the people who we associate with have something in common with us; if you like to hike the chances, are you find yourself enjoying the company of others who have the same passion for hiking. It goes the same way with politics, if you have liberal views you're more likely to be drawn to people with similar views. And so on. The closer you are to someone, the more similarities you both share.

There's a fascinating study, where people just read about a stranger and don't actually meet them. When they find out they have a lot in common with that stranger that knowledge greatly boosts them liking that stranger.

There was also a rather scary research study, where a group of people had to choose which they thought was the more attractive, a photo of a morphed stranger with a photo of themselves, or two strangers morphed together. The majority of people chose the combination of the stranger and themselves as the better looking image. Why? Humans are drawn to physical and personality similarities.

Similarity is attractive--the similarity that we have with someone increases their likability. People who share our attitudes make us feel more confident in our own attitudes. When we learn that we have something in common with other people that makes us feel more positively about that person, because we feel positively about ourselves.

When we talk about the need for on air talent to be relatable it's because to connect emotionally with your audience they need to understand how you're similar. The first step is to ensure that you're talking about the subjects that your audience cares about. If they are interested in it, then you should be talking about it. The second step is to be open about your thoughts, feelings, opinions and perspectives on those topics. You need to share parts of yourself to the audience every time the microphone is on. What is the audience learning about you that can help them figure out what similarities you have? Sure, some people may not find similarities with you and won't want to spend time with you, that's to be expected but for everyone that doesn't find commonality with you, there will be others who do.

Similarity is attractive. Help the audience understand how you are similar to them and you'll start a fruitful (and hopefully lasting) relationship.